Confessions Of A Teenage Hybrid
by Butterfly Wish
Summary: Renesemee's life after breaking dawn and her discovery of love in Jacob. I suck at summaries!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hey yall, so this is my first chapter in this story. Am not very happy about it but am working on it. I want you all to review it and tell me what you think and what i should improve. Please Review. Thanks**

**Chapter One**

I woke up to the soft humming of my parents' voices in the kitchen down the hall. It was almost 6:15 AM and I had school in a couple of hours. I got up, went to the bathroom, and washed my face and teeth. When I was done, I went back to my room, opened the closet and grabbed the first thing my hands came on. A light blue skinny jeans and a sleeveless black top, with a V neck. I wasn't going to let dad practically drag me back here to change my cloths today. It wasn't my fault that boys had _lustful eyes_, like my dad calls it, for me. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, adjusted my hair, and made sure nothing was showy.

I grabbed my phone and walked to the kitchen. My phone buzzed softly as I walked around the counter to my smiling mother, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Morning mum"

I then walked over to my dad, who had his arms opened for me. I went into his arms and wrapped my arms around him too, in a warm hug.

"Morning sweetie" He smiled at me.

"Morning dad" And I smiled back at him heartily.

As I walked back around the counter to sit on one of the stools, my phone buzzed again, as mum placed a plate of warm pancakes and a cup of warm coffee. I looked at the screen and found that I had two new texts. The first was from Conner.

_**Hey gorgeous, wanna ditch today?! XOXO**_

I heard dad sigh heavily. I sighed softly too, and pressed reply.

_**Better go to school to work on my final piece for the senior show. Shouldn't you be doing the same?!!!!**_

And I pressed send. The next one was from Jacob.

_**Is your dad picking on your cloths yet?? :D :P**_

I laughed softly and my dad gladly picked it outta my mind saying "Isn't your jeans a little tight Nessie?" He asked me innocently. My mum chuckled "Let it go Edward" She said with a wink at me. I pressed reply.

_**Yea, he just started. Why did you have to send me this text to remind him?! 8o|**_

Of course, I was never angry at Jacob. He was my best friend and big brother. Ever since I was born, Jacob was always around. He was always there for me, and meant the world to me. I was really happy that he was coming over to see me play at my senior show. _Two more weeks_. I thought smiling.

It was my senior year of high school. I was finally getting a diploma in Music and Arts, majoring in composing. I knew this is what I really wanted to do ever since I heard my dad play the lullabies he wrote for me and my mum. I was still working on my piece, even though I was finished with all the main notes, but it felt incomplete. I was trying to make it better, adjusting things, feeling there is still more room for improvement.

My phone buzzed again.

_**Oh! Sorry…sometimes it's really easy to forget that Edward practically lives in your brain! :P Morning Edward!**_

"Yea, tell him hi" My father said from behind the newspaper that I haven't noticed him picking up.

"Is that Jacob?" Mother asked "Ask him about his flight details so that we'd know when we go to pick him up"

"Mum, it's still two weeks" I pointed out.

"Just ask him honey" I nodded and texted Jake for his flight details. A few minutes later he replied with everything we will need.

When I was done, I got back to my room to get my bag and everything. I made sure all my music sheets were there. I also got my jacket and sun glasses. Dad was on his feet waiting for me, fumbling with his keys.

"You ready?" He asked.

"Dad, you won't need to. Annie is coming to pick me up"

"I still don't understand why would you do that to her when you already have your own car" Mum said as she cleaned up after me.

"A purple Porch isn't exactly what I call an _appropriate _car. It's a show off" I never really like showing off materially in front of everybody. Just because I have the luxury, doesn't mean I got to flaunt.

"Honey, this is New York! Everybody can almost afford a car like yours. Especially at your school"

"I don't know why you can't trade with me" I remarked. I had told my dad before that it would be more convenient for me if he gave me his Volvo and drove my Porch.

"I love my car too much. I can't just replace it, it would be cheating" He repeated what he has said a million times.

"Dad cheating is when you know girls over mum" I said sarcastically. He chuckled.

I had once thought of selling the damn car and getting a _normal_ car and save up the rest for something else. But it was a gift from Alice and Jasper for my seventeenth birthday. And dad reminded me that Alice will probably kill me before I could do it. He said that he can buy me any car I wanted. But that just made me feel worse. _Owning two cars!!! Jesus!_

My phone gave a short continues buzz, pulling me out of my thoughts, and signalling Annie's arrival.

"Annie's here" I said getting up and heading for the door.

"Oh baby. Take care" Mum came gave me a small hug.

"And you better not ditch" My dad said while sitting down.

I gave him a sarcastic smile "Oh dad, you know me better than this. Am not ditching, am having an affair with a married man!" And I couldn't help laugh at his face, that had a horrored look on his face for just a second before reading the truth right outta my mind. He and mum both chuckled after me.

I put on my jacket and sun glasses even though the sun was hidden with clouds. I just liked the way it looked on me. I walked to Annie's Beatle. It was a new VW, not like Jake's. But I adored Jacob's rabbit. It was so cosy. And the fact that he built it from scratch was amazing.

"Hey girlfriend" Annie was beaming at me showing her really white teeth once I got into the car.

"Hey back" I smiled and we took off.

"Love the jeans" She remarked while looking and pointing at it for a second, then watched the road again.

"Yea, Edward just gave me a smart remark about it" I laughed softly "Something about it being too tight"

She laughed playfully "Your brother needs to chill out"

"Yea tell me about it"

It was still weird hearing her call my father, _my brother_. Yea, this is what everybody thought. That my dad was my older brother and we, along with my mum/_sister_, were adopted by my grand parents_/foster parents_, Carlisle and Esme. We moved up in New York so that I can attend LaGuardic high school of Music & Art, and for my _brother _and _sister_, to attend New York University. And when we were done, we were going to go back to my home town Forks.

Actually, a part of this story was true. We did move here because my parents really did want to go to university. But that was about it. They got their PhDs last year, and they were waiting for me. After two weeks, we were going to meet up with the rest of our family, who were in Denali, back in Forks.

We had to lie. The fact that we don't age was a problem. But we try to cope by moving a lot. And we're trying to be lucky and not get noticed too much. But that was impossible, considering the fact that all my family were too beautiful and perfect for people not to see. Both my parents and whole family are vampires. They all are really over humanly gorgeous. But I am half human, half vampire. My mother got pregnant and gave birth to me when she was still human. So I kind of got _the best of both worlds_. I didn't age, had pale white skin that slightly glows in the sun, strength ,speed, and super senses. But also had a beating heart and blood pumping through my veins. And I was not venomous. My eyes were chocolate brown, like my mum before she was changed. It didn't change colour according to my thirst for blood like my family. But I had the same hair colour and facial looks just like my dad. And the best thing is that I can survive on both human food and blood, though of course I preferred blood. However, there was no much pretending for me in public when it came to my diet. I can enjoy outings with my friends and hunts with my family.

"So how was your night?" I gave her a big smile, knowing that she had a date with her boyfriend, Richard.

"It was fun" She blushed deeply.

"Oh my God, you're such a cow. You have to tell me everything" I shifted myself in the seat to face her.

"Ness, we can't keep our hands off each other" She blushed even more "Among other things" She mumbled the last part under her breath thinking I wouldn't hear it. I couldn't help the giggle.

"Seriously, you can't imagine what it took me to pull myself off him. I almost let it all go and let him have me fully. Thank God I went home a virgin" And we both laughed.

_I wish I could feel whatever you are feeling_. I thought to myself.

"Enough about me" She shook her hand at me "What about you? What did you do last night?"

"Umm…nothing special. Worked on my piece again. Then talked to Jake on the phone for a while"

"When are you going to admit to yourself Ness that you're in love with him"

"But am not!" I told her again for the zillionth time.

"Oh come on Nessie, you talk to the guy on the phone more than you talk to your own parents" _Grandparents._ I thought again "You're always talking about him. I wish you could have heard and seen yourself the first couple of weeks from our first year. There was nothing you actually ever thought or talked about but Jacob"

"But I missed him back then. It was hard leaving him because he is my best friend"

"Exactly. And you still miss him and you talk about him a lot too. It might have seem to lessen because you try to talk about other things that distract you. You're always saying that you wish there was a guy as perfect as Jacob for you. Well there is one…JACOB!!" She almost yelled his name at me.

I have never thought about Jacob this way. _Well actually I have_. But I have dismissed the idea so quickly because I was sure Jacob wouldn't even think about me this way. He always treated me like a sister and a really close friend. _But so have I_. He was always there for me. Supportive, comforting, protective. He practically raised me up. He never showed any interest beyond that, and I can see why. He was technically way older than me, and it seemed only natural for him to see me like that.

But it was true. If I wanted to be in love with someone, I wanted someone just like Jacob. Someone as mature, tender, loving, understating, and as funny as him. He was the picture of the perfect man for me. I just had to keep on looking. I know my soul mate is out there somewhere.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: hey yall, so this is the new chapter. sorry it took so long to update. i was a bit busy. thanks for everyone who took the time to read the first chapter, i hope you liked it. hope you like this chapter too, so please review and let me know what you think.**

**I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

**Chapter Two**

We talked about prom and the dresses we would wear for the rest of the drive to school. I didn't really want to go to prom. It was exhausting. But Annie made me promise that I would go this year, since it was senior year and all. I even said yes to Conner when he asked me. And I dunno why but he has been acting like we were long lost lovers since that. I knew Conner was a playboy since day one. And of course dad is not the biggest fan, _at all_.

Our prom is two days before the senior show and graduation ceremony. I had no idea what I was wearing. Once Alice just heard that I was actually going, she said that she would die, which was ironic, if I didn't let her dress me up. She is custom making it for me and sending it over this week. I was scared. I knew Alice could go over the top, but I hoped she wouldn't because I really didn't want to break her heart.

Richard met us by our lockers. I had all placement courses this year and neither of them shared anything with me except lunch and gym.

I saw Richard give Annie a little peck on the lips before they said goodbye and went off to their first class. I couldn't help smile to myself, thinking about Richard and Annie. We had been friends all three of us, and really great ones. Richard was probably the only guy in school that saw me just as a friend, which is also probably why dad liked him so much and allowed us to have study sessions at our house every now and then.

And then just by the end of last year, Richard confessed his love to Annie over a really romantic dinner. I smiled again remembering the look on Annie's face the next day when she told me all about it. I was really happy for them. Still am. They were perfect for each other. Totally compatible.

I felt someone's hands on my waist pulling me to their chest once I closed the locker door. I knew who it was from his smell.

"Hey gorgeous" Conner said and I felt his breath over my neck.

I moved myself out of his grip "Morning Conner" I was putting on my best poker face ever. You see, Conner is one of them boys that when you say yes to, they get all false hopes.

"Wanna go out this weekend?" He asked.

"Our finals are next week Conner" I was really surprised at that boy. Of all people, he really needed to study. "I need to focus"

"Like you need that Nessie" He laughed lightly, as if mockingly.

"Am glad I amuse you" I said sarcastically.

"No Ness, I mean it in a good way. You got both looks and brains" He flashed me his so called, sweep-you-off-your-feet smile. Too bad it didn't really work for me, ever. "That means less work and more play"

"Sorry Conner. Gotta let you down on this one" I said as I slid my bag over my shoulder walking away.

"Okay. So how about you tutor me then?" He followed me up.

"Am sorry Conner, but Edward doesn't really like you. And he doesn't allow me to go over to boys' places"

"Okay. How about I ask him?"

"Conner, you really don't want to do that" I was getting bored with him.

"Come on Nessie" His voice was pleading "I just wanna spend more time with you. Get to know you better. I mean isn't this what couples do?"

I stopped walking and faced him "Since when did we become a couple?" I was almost angry "I only said I'd go to prom with you. Am not looking for commitment Conner and if that isn't good for you, then am sorry, but you should see yourself another date to prom" I started to walk away, but God, he just doesn't take no for an answer.

He walked behind me and pulled at my arm, turning me around to face him again "Ness Ness, am sorry didn't mean to freak you out…"

I shook his hand away from my forearm and cut him off "Conner I have class right now. And am starting to re-consider my answer. So back off before I change my mind"

He rose his arms above his head defensively "Am sorry Ness" He smiled.

I walked away again and thank God, he didn't follow me up.

I had replacement calculus. We had finished our curriculum a week ago. So Mr. Banner was just going through the difficult things and any questions we had. It was pretty boring but I was taking notes anyways of the things he said were the most important.

That whole Conner thing was getting to me. I was starting to regret ever saying yes to him. _You don't even like him, for crying out loud._ I told myself. _How could I have been so stupid?!_

I just didn't want to go with just Annie and Richard. I knew it would be ridiculous and that they wouldn't be able to do anything privately without feeling bad for leaving me alone. And I didn't want to hold them back. So when the first person asked me I said yes. And unfortunately it was Conner.

I wanted to just escape the thoughts right now. I thought of texting Jacob to see how he was doing.

**Jacob? You working?**

Jacob had found work in a mechanic and a repair shop in Seattle two years ago. It was going well for him because he was a grease monkey.

**No, there is nothing today, work flow real low. God Nessie, I miss you so much.**

It's been hard for me and Jacob to leave each other for such a long time. Since I was born he had always been around. Every single day. And for that to just stop…It was painful. But then we managed. He would come up every month for a couple of days to see me. Then I would go and spend winter and spring breaks. Then all summer vacation. But that was going to change now. We were finally going home.

**I miss you too Jake. I can't wait until you are here. Hell I wish you could come right away. I could really use someone around me to cheer me up during all the graduation commotion going on right now.**

It was still weird to me how we still found stuff to talk about. We talk to on the phone for _at least _an hour a day. This is besides texting all day and chatting online whenever we both are free. He never bored me. Even when things were repeated. I would usually go on about school, dad, being home sick, missing him. And then he would start about work, the pack, him missing me. I secretly loved the _him missing me _part too much.

**Tell me baby girl, what's wrong??**

_Baby girl…_

I smiled to myself. I loved how he called me baby girl. I loved any name he called me. I felt like I was his. I belonged to him. It made me feel secured, protected, loved…

I didn't know if I should tell him about what happened just a while back with Conner. He already knew everything, but I was scared he's think me stupid for bothering him with something as shallow as that. _Why the hell can't I just get a grip of myself. _

What the hell was I thinking, I knew Jake was never judgemental. He would tell me what to do and be nice about it.

**Conner is being his funny (jerk) self again! He asked me out and when I said no, he told me that isn't that what couples do??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dunno what to do Jake…that guy doesn't takes no for an answer!**

I kind of regretted sending it because the bell rang after half an hour and I still didn't get a reply from him. I had already gotten my chemistry books before calculus, so I wouldn't be running into Conner again. I went straight to class, and waited for it to fill up.

My phone buzzed and I couldn't help he excitement that rushed through me.

**What the hell happened between you and Conner??????????**

It was Annie. _God damn it._ Conner must have been whining about what I told him to Richard or Annie.

**Nothing happened…he is just over reacting am sure. I only told him that am not interested in him. Is all.**

The class was full when I looked up from the phone and Mrs. Colman was at the bored writing today's starting exercise for everyone to do.

I ripped a paper, got out a pencil and starting solving the equations. It was way too easy for me. Dad had already tutored me this chemistry course when I was three. I knew more advanced stuff.

When I was almost done, my phone buzzed again and I hoped with everything in me that it was Jacob this time.

**Oh yea! Then why the hell is he telling everyone about that **_**amazing **_**date you had yesterday????? Ness you should have told me! I know I don't like Conner one bit, but you're my best friend and I would have supported it!**

I had to read the text almost three times to really realize what happened. And I couldn't contain my feelings anymore. It was like I saw red. I felt rage, anger, frustration, betrayal. I was going to kill Conner.

I heard a _snap_ sound and realized that I had pressed to hard on my pencil that it broke. And every eye in class was on me.

"Everything alright Ms. Cullen?" Suddenly Mrs. Colman was by my side.

"Yes everything is fine" I looked at her. She had her eyes narrowed at me and I knew she could see the rage on my face. I tried to distract her so I held my answer paper towards her. "I solved the equations"

She eyed me again, "Am sure you did". But I think, decided to let it go because she smiled as she took the paper from me and turned around walking towards her desk. "Alright everyone, time is up. Pass your answer papers to the on in front of you"

The rest of class passed without me knowing what was going on. All I could think about was, what I was going to do to Conner.

The bell rang and I just jumped of my seat and walked towards the door as fast as humanly possible. I didn't want to see Conner at all because I knew I would beat him up to death in the hallways and that would be really bad. But at the same time I wanted fate to just bump me into him so that I can make him my new punch bag!

My phone suddenly went off and I looked at the caller ID and saw my dad's number.

"Dad?"

"Hun, are you alright?" I could tell her was worried.

"Yes am fine" I snapped. He didn't respond but I heard him sigh quietly. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down.

"Am sorry father" I told him now that I had more control of myself "Am just having a really bad day at school"

He sighed "Are you sure? Alice just called me and said that she got a blur of you in the principle's office. Are you in any kind of trouble? Do you want me to come down there?"

"No dad, there is no trouble at all. Just a misunderstanding. Nothing I can't handle" I tried to compose myself back.

"Baby I can come and take you for the rest of the day. Your teachers won't be a problem"

"I know dad, but I need to deal with this. Plus I have to work with the juniors for my piece."

He sighed again "Alright honey. Just please be careful and call me if you need anything. Okay?"

"Okay dad. I love you"

"I love you too sweetheart" And with that our phone call ended.

My next three classes were music and composition. We were already done with our final examination for all our practical music courses. And so they were free. I used them to work on my piece.

We were allowed to get help from any juniors or sophomores if needed. And so I decided that I would use other instruments as back up for me, to give out more feel for the music, trying to give it full effect. I got two sophomores who play the violins, two juniors; one playing the drums and one playing the guitar.

We have been practicing everyday for the last week. They were all really good musicians and fast learner. They were finally getting hold of it and I was happy I had gotten that far with them.

I started walking towards the music practice room. Justine, the drummer and Sophie, one of the violinists, were there. Shortly after I walked in, the other two came in. Ryan and Valarie.

"Still red from last night, are we Ness?" Justine winked at me, and the rest giggled quietly.

At first I didn't understand what he was implying, but then I got it.

"Yea right! Like Conner can actually make me even feel this way. The only red you're seeing right now, is the red of me going to kill Conner!" I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"So you didn't go out with him?" Ryan asked wide eyed.

"Hell no!"

"Ha! See I told you, Nessie has such a higher taste than that loser" Sophie told Justine while looking at me and smiling knowingly.

I smiled gratefully at Sophie. _Maybe no one will believe Conner after all_. I took comfort in that idea.

"Then why the fuck did he just -"

I cut Ryan off "Like Sophie said Ryan, L-O-S-E-R" I emphasized every letter. "Can we please just…Please let's just start practice" My tone was a bit shaky.

"Hey Ness you okay?" Justine put his hand on my shoulder.

"Yes am alright" I looked up at him and smiled. And he smiled back.

"Don' give it too much though Nessie" Valarie said "He's not worth it. And the people who believe him too ain't worth it as well"

They were all so nice and I couldn't help having what they said make me feel a lot better.

I set my bag on the piano and pulled out my music sheets.

"Alright. I have made just slight adjustments to the middle section" I said going around the black piano and hading each a music sheet.

I got back and sat on the bench facing them all. They all took their places and got ready.

We practiced all three hours today, working on every little detail. I loved their devotion and how they really wanted to make this work as well.

After we were all done and everybody was getting ready to leave, I took one look around and decided to give them tomorrow off.

"Hey you guys" I said and they all looked up "Tomorrow is off"

"No no" Sophie said "We wanna work on it more. I still need to grasp I well"

"No" I argued with a smile "You all worked pretty hard all week. And you guys don't need to practice anymore, you are amazing. Better than me if I must say" It was true without them, the piece wouldn't sound as amazing as it did. Plus the adjustments that I made, made it even more emotional.

They all beamed up at me, and I could see them all proud with themselves.

"Are you sure Nessie?" Ryan asked "We still do need to work on the middle part with all the new changes"

"Yes yes am sure. We'll work more after tomorrow. We still have plenty of time and you all deserve a break from bossy me"

"Great. Then be so un-bossy and come have lunch with us. Am starving" Justine said and we all laughed at him.

We sometimes did have lunch together after practice so I thought why not.

"Alright" I agreed.

"Does anybody have any more classes today?" Valarie asked. We all shook out heads.

"Awesome" She beamed widely "Then let's grab lunch outside school. I can't stand the cafeteria food any more"

"I can't you guys. I have to wait for Annie cause she's my ride" I gave them all a sorry look.

"That's alright Nessie, I'll give you a ride home when we're all done" Sophie said.

"No way Sophie, you live on the other side from me. No way am I going to let you drive me"

Before even Sophie could argue, Justine jumped in "That's alright. Am going to be driving Ryan today anyways, so I'll give you a ride as well"

I thought about it for a moment.

"Come on Ness, just say yes" Ryan smiled at me.

I couldn't argue anymore. Plus I really wanted to get out of school and not have to wait for Annie until the end of the day.

"Alright alright" I said defeated. They all cheered, and made their way to the door.

We divided ourselves on the cars. I rode with the girls. I got my cell phone out to text Annie and tell her that I was getting an early ride home. I found new seven texts, all from Jacob.

I decided to write Annie first. When I was done, I also wrote a text to mum to let her know about my plans.

I then opened Jacob's messages.

**Am sorry Ness, had a car in hand. Fuck him Nessie, and don't think too much about him, he's not worth it. Come on cheer up babe. Do you wanna hear a blond joke?**

I smiled to myself. He always knew that blond jokes always turned my mood up. _Can't say the same thing for Rosalie though._ I opened the next ones.

**Nessie where are ya?**

**Ness baby, are you alright?!**

**Alright Renesmee, you're freaking me out! Answer me honey!**

**Just tell me you're alright…**

**Baby girl??**

**Alright, am going to tell myself that you haven't seen my texts yet. But please, please call me once you see this. I love you.**

I couldn't help the smile and the warm feeling that ran through me. I just loved how he was so protective over me. And that last _I love you,_ did make me so happy. I felt guilty for not noticing earlier.

**Am so sorry Jake, I was practicing with the **_**gang**_** the last three hours and didn't feel the phone buzz off. Am really sorry that I got you worried. There is nothing to wrong and everything is perfectly fine. Am going to lunch now with the guys, and then getting an early ride home. Am not going to call you now and distract you from work, but you call me once you get home, alright? Love ya too Jake.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: First of all, i wanna thank everyone who took the time and read my story. i couldn't believe when i saw the chart thingie.  
****second, i would like to give a very special thanks to _kathy96 _for reviewing.  
i hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**I do not own twilight or any of the character. Also in this chapter the song Never Think by Robert Pattinson, so of course I don't own it as well.**

**Chapter 3**

Lunch went alright. We didn't go far away from school. Annie texted me back and was apologizing, thinking that I wouldn't go home with her cause of the her earlier texts. But I assured her that it was nothing like that and that I was just tired and wanted to go home.

When we were all done, I said goodbye to the girls and headed out with Justin and Ryan, to the car. My phone went off and I pulled it out to answer. I felt my heart skip a beat when I saw the caller's name.

"Hey gorgeous!"

"The nerve you have to call me you ass-hole"

Ryan shifted in his seat to look back at me and Justin was looking back trough the review mirror.

"Hey, hey chill Ness, I was just joking around!"

"Joking around? Joking around? God you are sick! How can you even think it when I bluntly said I am not going to go out with you! Ever!"

"You never said ever love" That was it, he called me love and that was it. He was about to say something but I wouldn't give him the chance to talk anymore.

"You listen to me jack-ass, and you listen to me good, you are to never come near me again, or talk to me, talk about me, call me, or text me. Cause I swear to God, if you even thought about me, I will bring you down!" And I hung up on him.

My God, that felt so good and a smile crept up on my face. When I looked up, Ryan's mouth was hung open, and Justin's eyes were all wide in the review mirror. Then Ryan's mouth shifted upwards to form a huge grin that showed all his teeth.

"Bad ass Nessie" He said nodding his face slowly. And we all bust out laughing.

The rest of the drive home was full of laughter and my mood quickly climbed up, like nothing had actually happened at all. We talked about random things.

"We should wear vegetables" Ryan smiled and looked at me teasingly, when I asked what they thought we should wear for the show.

"Ha ha Ryan, very funny" I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips as an image flashed to my face of us all wearing different vegetable. And Ryan was a carrot!

Justin was dropping me off first. So when we finally reached my house, I gathered my things and made sure I had not left anything on the back seat when I got out.

"So does that mean that you're dateless for prom night?" Ryan asked casually looking out at me from the front window as I bent to say my thanks and goodbyes.

I nodded "I don't think am gonna go now!" I said defeated.

"Hey, not just cause one guy is a dirt bag, doesn't mean the rest are the same" Ryan beamed at me.

"Ryan, like there is someone who can take me to prom platonically?" I asked him knowing that answer before hand.

"Moi!"

_That's not the answer that I had in mind._

"Umm…Ryan…Hmm…That's kind of a nice offer really. But I really, really don't want to go anymore" I gave him an apology looking smile.

"Come on Nessie, it would be fun. We'll be like prom crasher and stuff. And I promise, you're like my sister Ness. You have my word, this is nothing more than a guy escorting his friend to prom." He sounded so sincere.

_I could go for like an hour just for Annie. God she's gonna throw a fit if I tell her I won't go._

"Alright Ryan, I'll think about it and tell you after tomorrow. Sounds good?"

"Sounds great!"

"Bye Ness" Justin gave a small wave and drove off.

_Am not going to think about that right now or my head will explode._ I had never thought high school can be so hard.

I thought about taking a quick shower and sit and study some chemistry and calculus for next week.

My parents were sitting in the living room watching TV. Sounded like a documentary.

"Don't you guys ever watch a movie or sitcom or something?" I walked in to give mum a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes we're saving that for when we're with Alice and Rosalie later" My dad chuckled and me and mum couldn't help giggling. It's true Alice and Rosalie tend to get all girlie. _Okay, I'll be insulting Alice if I say that Rosalie is __**all that girlie**__._

Dad chuckled again.

"So what happened at school today that almost got you to the principles office?"

I didn't want to think about it but once he asked the question it was inevitable. The whole Conner situation passed by my mind and I was sure he read it all.

"What do you mean she was going to be in the principle's office? Renesmee, what happened?" Mum looked concerned.

Then thank God, dad was here to save me all the narrating. He told her everything.

"Am so proud of you Nessie" She got up and gave me a hug "That you took the smart decision to not hand handle this" She beamed at me with me still in her arms.

"Although you could have done it without all the cursing" Dad was serious.

"Dad he deserved it!" I was shocked.

"I know but still…please Renesmee, try to watch your mouth, just a little more. Even if people do deserve it at times" He asked me pleading.

"Yes sir"

"Alright do you want some help in chemistry? I can test you" He smiled with his eyes all sparkly. I know he can't help trying to show off in front me.

"Renesmee!" He said as if shocked, still smiling at me.

"It true!" I smiled back.

He raised his left eye brow at me and shooed me off to shower as mum went and took her place back on the couch beside him.

I walked to my room, went to the bathroom to start up the shower. It took me just ten minutes to be done.

When I finally got dressed and was about to make my way to the living room again to get my father, I heard him and mum whispering and mum giggling. I wouldn't mess that up so I thought to my father, _dad take your time, am gonna go play for a while. Just don't make it too loud. I love you. _And I smiled mentally for him.

I went back to my room, picked up my guitar. I wasn't in the mood for piano or my piece. I just wanted to relax a bit and take my mind away from here.

I started playing the notes to a song that I had written a while ago after I heard my parents' story. And how hard for my father in the beginning, to be with mum and everything. And how even though he thought he had no soul, he wanted to save hers. I remember crying. And I can never forget the look on my father's face that day, the combination of pain, sorrow, anger and regret.

I closed my eyes and melody just started coming to me. The music made me soul fly away.

_**I should never think  
what's in your heart  
what's in our home  
so I won't**_

_**You'll learn to hate me  
but still call me baby  
oh love  
so call me by my name**_

_**And save your soul  
save your soul  
before your to far gone  
before nothing can be done**_

_**I'll try to decide when  
she'll lie in the end  
I ain't got no fight in me  
in this whole damn world  
so hold off  
she should hold off  
it's the one thing that I've known**_

_**Once I put my coat on  
I coming out in this is all wrong  
she standing outside holding me  
saying oh please  
I'm in love  
I'm in love**_

_**Girl save your soul  
go on save your soul  
before it's to far gone  
and before nothing can be done**_

_**Cause without me  
you got it all  
so hold onwithout me you got it all  
so hold onwithout me you got it all  
without me you got it all  
so hold on  
without me you got it all  
so hold on  
without me you got it all  
so hold on**_

I opened my eyes to find my dad standing in my doorway, smiling at me heartily.

I put my guitar on my bed and walked over to him and gave him a hug. He kissed my cheek "I love you very much Renesmee and I never regret the decisions that brought you into my life. I never regret you or your mother. Never"

The next couple of hours, dad tested me in chemistry and calculus. We didn't really stick to the stuff I was supposed to do. We got into really advanced stuff. And dad was trying to get smart over me by writing down some really hard equations that he thought I wouldn't understand. He intentionally made mistakes and I smugly corrected all of them for him.

"You can't out smart me little girl" He tried to tease me.

"Yea right. I can beat you any time any day old man" We both laughed.

"Oh yea?" And he reached over and started tickling me. My laughter got louder as mum came in the room with my phone ringing. I knew that ringing tone.

"_I know, you know, am sexy, what would you do, would you sacrifice it all for me? How would you like if I woo yeah, I need an all American cowboy"_

_Jacob. _I thought with a smile.

"That would be Jacob" I got up smiling hugely. I took the phone from mum and answered it quickly.

"_Did you do the dance?"_ Jacob asked me playfully. When that song came out (America Cowboy - JADA), Jacob was obsessed about it for a while. He played, sang and whistled it all the time in his car, his home, our place. He even talked me into inventing a dance over the course. And it became his song ever since. It became our song.

"I did it in my mind" I laughed lightly and started walking towards my room. I could feel dad dig holes in the back of my neck but I ignored it and he groaned angrily.

"_Are you okay Renesmee?_"He sounded worried.

"Yes am fine Jake" I tried to sound assuring.

"_Tell my what happened honey"_ He still sounded worried. But I had to smile when he called me honey.

I told him everything that happened with Conner. The rumour, the phone call, everything I felt. He bust out laughing when he heard what I had said, or rather, threatened Conner. And even laughed more at what Ryan had said after.

"_Bad ass, huh?" _He said playfully "_That's couldn't be far away from the truth_"

I laughed a little. "Oh please Jacob, I was never like that" I tried defending myself.

"_Yes you have! You turned into bad ass Nessie ever since Emmett taught you all the curses and what they meant. Not because you never said them out load, doesn't mean you haven't used them all the time in your mind. You can't really miss all Edward's clearing throats, groans and hisses!_" I couldn't help blush deeply. He was right, but I never thought he would notice every time dad scolded me, especially that I thought it was only me who noticed.

"Anyways, Ryan asked to _**escort**_ me to prom after what happened. What do you think?"

"_Umm…Nessie I dunno. This is something you can decide on your own. Or ask Edward or Bella. I don't have a say in this_" I felt as if he was hurt, but then pushed the thought away. _Why would Jacob get hurt over this?_

"Actually you have a lot of saying in this. What you think matters a lot to me. I love you Jacob" I heard him catch his breath at that last part. And I blushed "You are my best friend. I need your advice a lot. I wanted it this morning, I want it now, I want it all the time"

"_I miss you Renesmee_" It was out of nowhere, I didn't expect it. I didn't know how to react. Jacob always told me he missed me, I dunno why right now was different. I blushed, I blushed like I have never blushed before. I could actually feel the heat radiate from my skin.

"I miss you more Jacob" I smiled to myself and could feel him smile too. I wanted to shift the talk to something else before I say something stupid "Tell me that blond joke from this morning" I felt his relax more and laugh slightly.

"_Alright. Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?_"

"Why?"

"_In case she had to draw some blood_" I couldn't help that I laughed loud. It was funny. I heard dad laugh lightly in the living room, and then mum joined him a moment later. He must have told her the joke.

"My parents are laughing too" We both giggled. "We have to tell that one to Rosalie when we get home"

"_Yes, we must_"

"So, how was work" I asked as I went to lay on the bed.

We talked for almost an hour. He told me what he did at work and asked about my progression in my music piece, listening attentively even though am sure he didn't understand any of the musical terms I used. We then talked about the pack. I asked about everyone, even Sam and Emily. He told me they just celebrated Clair's twentieth birthday. I had forgotten about that. I made a mental note to send Claire a birthday e-card, and buy her a present later. Me and Claire were good friends over the years, and I had missed her. He told me the Quil was planning on proposing to her later.

"I bet it's going to be romantic" I pictured Quil proposing on the beach under the full moon.

"_He's actually very confused on how to do it. And everything he thinks of doesn't seem to be Quil enough_"

"Well am sure whatever he's gonna do, it's gonna be right at the moment and Claire will be ecstatic"

"_Yea, I know_" I heard Billy calling for Jacob "_I better go Nessie. I'll talk with you later_"

"Alright Jacob. Take care. And say hi to Billy for me"

"_I will love. You take care as well_"

"Bye Jake"

"_Bye Ness_" And he hung up.

I put the phone down on the night stand beside me then put my hands over my face rubbing lightly.

I looked at the clock and it was just 7:30 PM. I didn't know what to do. There was nothing I wanted to do. I was tired of working on the piece, so I decided I'd just work on it later tomorrow. Then I also decided that I wouldn't go to school tomorrow since there is no practice and classes are boring as hell. I'd stay home or do something with mum.

I got up and turned my laptop on. I thought I would send the e-card to Claire while I still remembered.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in dad"

"You're having some time on you" He must have read my thoughts about what I wanna do now.

"Yea. Am not sleepy"

"Do you wanna play with me for a while?" He asked my with a huge grin on his face.

"Sure. Just give me a few. I have to send Claire her birthday e-card. Then I gotta call Annie"

"Alright. I'll be in the living room when you're done" And with that, he left and closed the door behind him.

Sending that e-card didn't take a long time. I found one that was very Claire-like and typed in Claire's email and sent it.

I checked my own email out of boredom, and found out the Jake had sent me a couple of silly pictures and jokes. Then some advertisement and junk mail. I quickly deleted the stuff I didn't want to and closed everything.

I got up to get my phone and speed dialled Annie. After a couple of rings she answered.

"_Hey Ness_" She sounded worried.

"Hey girlfriend. How was the rest of your day?" I said cheerfully.

"_Same old, same old. What about you, lunch alright?_" She asked me with some of the tension going away.

"Yea it was alright. You'll never guess what happened after though"

"_What?_" She sounded curious.

"Conner called me and I totally kicked his ass!" I laughed lightly.

"_Oh my God, Nessie. Am so sorry about earlier. I really didn't mean to upset you_"

"What are you talking about Annie? You didn't do anything wrong. It's alright. High school gossip is just inevitable. It was just weird hearing it coming from a guy!"

"_Nothing is weird from Conner. He is a total ass_"

"You were right about him. Sorry, should have listened to you!" I apologized and I did mean it.

"_Yea well, some people just learn it the hard way. You better listen to what I tell you next time missy_" She said teasingly. And we both laughed lightly.

"I better go now. Wanna hang out with Edward for a while"

"_You know Ness, if Richard wasn't so irresistible, I would totally be all over your brother!_" I had to laughed to that. When Annie first saw dad, she totally wanted me to hook them up. When I told her he was already with someone, it took her a while not to drool every time she was around him. But then she totally got used to him after a short while.

"Yea, that is _**if**_ Richard wasn't irresistible"

"_Of course_" We both laughed quietly "_Alright, I'll see you tomorrow_"

"Yea, listen am not going to school tomorrow, so you're taking a day of from being my driver" I giggled.

"_Great! I'll make Richard give me a ride then. Maybe I'll even get him to come around early so we can -_"

I cut her off "I don't wanna hear it Annie" She laughed.

"_You didn't even let me finish. I was gonna say have breakfast together!_"

I only gave a light "Oh" and blushed deeply even though she couldn't see.

"_But I like you're idea too, Ness_" She laughed again.

"Well of course you do" I joined her. We hung up soon after.

I put my phone back on the night stand and walked outta my room and into the living room. There was no one there. I couldn't hear or smell anything, so I made my out to the back yard.

I found mum and dad making out. One of mum's arms were around dad's neck the other reaching up so her finger were tangled up in his hair. He had his arms around her waist under her shirt. Their lips were moving passionately over each other in a deep kiss.

I turned around so quickly to walk in that I hit my head in the door. I heard them break the kiss, but didn't turn around.

"I am so sorry" I said quickly and blushed really deep.

"No baby, we -" Mum's voice was nerves enough that if I could see her face and she could blush, she would be a total tomato head. Dad cut her in.

"Do you -" I knew he was gonna ask me if I wanted to play now and I definitely didn't.

"No, no. Am just gonna go back to my room and read something till I fall asleep. Carry on" I couldn't believe I just said that. I reached for the door quickly and almost ran to my room.

This was not the first time this had happened. Actually _this_ happened all the time. But this was not the worst. One time I had caught my parents half naked on the couch. I had come early from school without telling. I never really thought it would be a problem. I thanked God that I didn't come in a couple of minutes later. But ever since, I had always notified one, _or both_ of my parents if I would be home early from anything.

I blamed dad for it. He was always too distracted to read my thoughts and know I was near.

Once I reached my room, I tried to calm myself down by taking deep breaths. I walked to my closet to get myself some Pyjamas. Then I thought that I might just get hungry or thirsty and I don't want to go out of my room _for the rest of the night!_

So I decided I'd just walk to the kitchen, get myself something and then get ready for bed.

I passed the living room and what I saw, just had to make me laugh. My parents were sitting on the couch. Mum next to dad with her hands together on her lap. Dad had one arm around her shoulder and other holding the remote switching channels. They looked so innocent.

They turned their heads to look at me when they saw me laughing. Mum was smiling shyly.

"What?" Dad was smiling at me.

"Yea, so now you decided to read my thoughts and know my next move! You already corrupted my innocence" I was surprised at the teasing tone I gave.

I just shook my head from left to right quickly and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed some toast and put on it some mayo and a turkey slice. Before leaving I took a green apple and a bottle of water and headed back to my room. I didn't look in the living room on my way back.

I put the stuff on my desk and went to the bathroom to go on with my nightly routine. Then I changed into my night clothes. I thought I'd go with the original plan of me reading something till I fall asleep. So I grabbed the first book my hand came across in my library. It was Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.

I had started this book before, but the first couple of chapters were really dry so I just dropped it, even though dad said that it would get real better later on.

So I thought why not, I'd just give it another shot and carry on from where I left it.

I laid down on the bed and got my iPod, and opened my classical music play list for my reading time. It was the background to my imagination.

I kept on reading and the music kept on flowing. I dunno when, but I just dozed off into deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **

**Firstly, i would like to give a really really really big thanks to** ** Whitlock**** and MS Lozi, who reviewed my last chapter. Thank you guys it means A LOT.**

**Alright, so am not so proud of this chapter. at this point it did not know what to do and writing was so frustrating. Anyways, i know it's a little bit short, but i hope you like it. please review, i really wanna know what you guys think. Thanks**

**I do not own twilight or any of the characters.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_God, the sun is blinding._ I woke up to the sun rays coming from the window and over my face. Even with my eyes still closed, the light hurt. _Feels like noon already. _I was sleeping on my side.

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, until my eyes adjusted to the light. I suddenly smelt a very familiar sent. Cherry wood and pine leaves. _Jacob._

"Jacob?"

"Am right here" His voice, barely a whisper, came from behind me, as I felt a warm arm slide under me and pull me to a very warm chest.

"Jacob" I whispered his name, as my arm reached up behind me to rest my hand around his neck. He was so warm, his skin soft, his hair smooth.

"Am right here Renesmee" My heart rate raced tremendously and my breath was rapid and shallow as I felt his hot breath on my cheek and neck. If I moved my face just a little I would see him.

I turned around still in his arms and I saw his smile, his eyes, looking deep into mine. My hands automatically ran towards his cheeks, cupping his face. I smiled back.

"Jacob" I said his name again.

"I love you Renesmee. I love you with everything in me"

I felt tears roll down my cheeks. And his hands moved to my cheeks as well, and he began to wipe my tears with his thumbs.

"I love you" He moved his face forwards and rested his forehead against mine. We were both panting by now. I felt my heart swell and my head was spinning. I couldn't feel or think anything but what he just said to me. I felt like I was dreaming.

"Tell me again, please"

"I love you" I couldn't help the tears the flowed. I pushed his face away from me so that I could look in his eyes.

"I love you back Jacob" He smiled at me like he never had. Then his face was so close to me I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Kiss me Jacob. Kiss me"

I closed my eyes and felt his lips brush so lightly against my lips. My lips parted and I caught my breath quickly before his lips were on mine again. Still as gentle as the first time but for longer. I pulled his face closer with my hands. I needed to feel him. I needed him closer. I moved my hands around his neck.

"Renesmee" He breathed my name against my lips.

I felt his hands pull away from my face. And his breath disappeared. I couldn't feel his body against mine anymore. I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn't. It was as if they were glued shut.

I felt something cold on my shoulder shaking me lightly.

"Renesmee" A Voice so familiar called me.

_That's not Jacob._

"Renesmee, wake up" That's my father.

_My father!_ My eyes opened so quickly and I jolted upwards so fast to find myself face to face with my dad. I was breathing really fast.

"Calm down. Everything is alright" His voice was so calming, but I could feel anger? Irritation? Behind it.

_God, he must have read my damn dream right outta me. _I felt embarrassed and blushed deeply.

What would my dad think of me, having such dreams about my best friend.

_Oh God!_ My hands were on my face covering it up.

I heard my dad sigh slowly. I looked up at him and he was smiling.

_Poker face!_

"It's alright honey" He was still smiling "Come on, your mother just made you breakfast"

I sat still for a while after dad left the room. _What in the name of everything that was holly was that???_

The dream flowed again in my mind. And I could feel myself getting hot, and a rush of warmness went through my body. It was so real. I…I could still feel him, his body against mine, his lips…oh my God, his lips…

_Stop it! _I shouted to myself. _Renesmee Carlie Cullen, get a fucking grip over yourself. This…this is Jacob, for God's sake. Jacob, the guy who changed your first dipper!_

I took a few breaths soothing myself as I got outta bed. I had to get over this. I went to the bathroom and went through my morning routine.

When I got outta my room, I could hear my parents talking in their bedroom, so I made my way to the kitchen. Fair enough, there was french toast and orange juice. I sat and ate silently, waiting until someone comes.

The phone suddenly rang. And I shouted "I'll get it". I reached for the phone on the counter "Hello, Cullen residence, Nessie speaking"

"_God Nessie, is that what you're father has been teaching you these days? You sound like one of those secretaries in an corporation_"

"Alice! I missed you" I felt genuinely homesick.

"_Oh, I missed you too darling. How was school yesterday? Got out of trouble?_"

I laughed lightly "Yes. How's everyone? How's Jasper?" I was so excited it came out really fast. I heard her giggle lightly.

"_He's great. Misses you like mad, course. And can't wait to see you. Everybody misses you. The Denali's are sending their hellos too. Anyways, I wanted to tell you that, you're dress is finished, and I already sent it. It should be there in a day or two_"

"Thank you so much, Alice. Really" It was sincere and I was smiling.

"_I just hope you like it Nessie_"

"Am loving it already! Anything from you Alice is just perfect"

"_Thanks sweetie. Well alright. Can you pass the phone to Bella?_"

"Yea sure" I moved with the phone still on my ears, walking out the kitchen and down the hallway. Half way through, I said in a loud voice "Mum, Alice wants to talk to you"

"Come in Ness" My dad called me in. I walked to their bedroom door, gave a small knock and got in.

My dad was sitting on the bed facing mum who was on the window seat.

"I'll talk with you soon Alice" I said through the phone.

"_Take care honey_" With that, I handed mum the phone and started to make my way out the room when my dad stopped me.

"Renesmee" I turned around to find him standing right in front of me.

"Dad?" I was getting worried.

"It's alright there is noting to get worried about. I just heard you yesterday telling Jacob that someone asked you to prom after what happened with Conner" I let out a sigh of relief. _Thank God he doesn't wanna discuss my little fantasy._

I heard a small groan form in my father's throat, but his face didn't change. I decided to ignore it.

"Yea, one of the guys I practice with for my show piece. His name is Ryan. He's a junior, plays the guitar. He's really nice and composed. Don't worry he's alright, not like Conner at all"

"I trust your judgement Ness" He told me with a smile. _Thanks dad, means a lot._

"But I still didn't say yes. I told him I'll think about it" I thought I might just ask for his advice since I didn't really get it out from Jacob last night. And he did tell me to ask my parents.

Even thought dad can pick it outta my mind, but if I wanted to talk or ask about something, he would always let me talk and ask, as if he didn't know it yet. I always appreciated it. Made me feel less mind invaded. More _normal_.

"What do you think I should do dad?"

His smile grew a little more "Well, if you wanna go Ness, you have my permission to. I trust you and I know you're gonna take smart choices -"

"Dad it's not about that. You know, am just not very keen on going. But…it's Annie, I kinda promised I'd go for her"

"Annie has a very kind mind, Ness. If you're worried that she might not forgive you or something of that sort, then rest assure that she will. She will understand when you explain"

"Is it worth it?" I knew mum hated prom and I knew why, but I never thought about what dad thought about this kind of experience. He chuckled.

"Well, it never had a meaning for me. I only went a couple of times through out my life, and yes it was only because Alive made me. It became very repetitive after a while" He chuckled again "There is noting out of the ordinary. The parties Alice makes is way more exciting, I can assure you. The only time I really wanted to go to prom, you're mum here, wouldn't let me" He said as he nodded his head towards mum, who was done with Alice and was sitting watching us now. He chuckled and I joined him.

I knew what prom meant for mum, _dancing._ And she hated it thinking that she was clumsy. It was just weird that even after she became a vampire, she hated dancing and would do it as little as possible. If dad didn't really ask her, or no, _dazzle_ her is more correctly, she wouldn't do it at all!

"Alice would hate me. She already made the dress and sent it for the occasion" I frowned.

"Don't worry baby. She would also understand. Plus am sure you will find a very appropriate time to wear it. There is always an occasion that needs a prom dress" He chuckled and both of them laughed lightly.

I smiled hopefully. Alice is really not the person to hold a grudge.

"Thanks Dad" I shortened the small distance between us and threw my arms around his neck. He hugged me back.

When he let me go and I looked up to his face, he was serious again.

"Ness, about that little dream you had…" _Oh, God…_

"Just don't linger on it. I know you can't control your dreams. Just…don't linger on it too much" I blushed deeply and nodded. I didn't really expect it to be this short. I thought I was gonna have one of those long, long lectures.

I excused myself and left for my room.

_Am going to die of boredom. God. _It was always the same thing every year for the past four years. When it was the end of the year, it was just plain boring. It would be awkward if I called Annie or someone from school to hang out. Everybody was busy studying. _It's not my fault I can finish everything in a couple of hours!_

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to play any instrument, read, eat, watch TV. I sighed at all the option and nothing to do. I want to go out. _A jog!_

I went to my closet, got out some longs and a sweater. I put everything on and some running shoes. I went to the dresser and tied my hair into a lose bun. I grabbed my iPod, cell phone, and went to tell dad.

Even before I could knock on my parents' room, dad's voice came from behind the door "Alright, you can go. Just don't take long. And don't do something that would get people suspicious"

I smiled and turned around to walk outta the door. I plugged my headphone on and played some fast rhymed songs.

I went jogging often around our neighbourhood. I even knew some of our neighbours.

I wanted to try and live among humans. And my parents did not deny me that. They had to be extra cautious about sunny days, but it was rare in New York.

I started off slow, to warm up my body. Then my pace got faster and I was running at a human pace down the street. It was fairly quite around here, so there were no cars coming and going. And I could scene it if any car was near by and I made room for it to pass.

I was loving the freedom this gave me. I always loved the outdoors and fresh air made me feel energy I could never get from anything else.

Song after song passed, and I think I have been running for almost an hour. I decided to stop at this small park and sit enjoy the weather for a while.

I sat down on a bench and took one of the my headphones out and got out my cell phone. I decided to text Ryan and tell him my decision.

**Hey Ryan, listen am not going to go to prom…Am sorry Ryan. It's not you, but I decided I just don't want to go. Am sorry again. **

I actually felt kind of relieved. I knew Annie would get mad at me for a while, but she will forget it once she has an amazing night with Richard.

I smiled to myself, wandering to my thoughts to how Annie is going to love what

Richard was preparing for her for prom night. I was sure she won't even notice that am not there.

My phone buzzed off in my hand. I immediately thought it was Ryan replaying. But I was wrong.

**Alright Ness, I know I said that you can take a decision on your own on this, but hey am your best friend and I can simply state my opinion. Right?! If you are sure of the guy, then go to the damn prom with him.**

Was I sensing jealousy?! That was awkward of Jacob. Yes, he was protective, maybe even more than my dad in some things. But jealous? Of who? Ryan? That was just stupid. Now, why would Jacob Black be jealous of some boy?


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Hey yall, my computer is finally back and am so happy to be writing again. I wanna thank you all for bearing with me and waiting. and i hope it would be worth the wait for you. i would like to thank _sasha123, TaylorLautner4Life11 _and _Melissa _for their great reviews. They made my days :D Thank you so much.**

**I would like to give a very very special thank to my Beta and amazing friend OrangeFlower, for helping me with editing this chapter and giving me the push to write even when i didn't have my computer with me. Thank you so much you're the best.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as the other. Please Review :)**

**I do not own twilight or any of it's characters.**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

I was definitely dreaming. I was absolutely sure of it. The fast forwarding of things. It was a dream because it just captured everything that happened in the last couple of days in quick glimpse.

A big green neon sigh that said "Tuesday Afternoon" flashed in my head. Then I saw pictures of what I did that day.

Went back home. Took a shower. Ate. Played with dad. read. Went to sleep. Had a dream about Jake. No contact what so ever with Jake.

Another neon sigh "Wednesday"Woke up by mum (Thank God). Was late. Annie came. Told Annie about my decision. Almost had a car accident. Had a fight with Annie. Started classes. Started practice. Talked with Ryan. Made me feel better about myself. Annie left me at school. Had Richard give me a ride and apologized for Annie. Ate. Played the piano. Studied. Read again. Watched TV. Went to bed. Had a dream about Jake, again! No contact what so ever from Jake.

"Thursday"Woke up by dad. Looked really pissed. Ate breakfast. Got dressed. Got a ride to school with dad. Classes started. Practice started. Improvement noticed. Gym started. Fall on my ass. Annie apologized. made up. Gave me a ride home. Ate. Napped. Practiced my piece. Read. Annie called. more apologizes. Watched TV with mum. Took a long bath. No contact what so ever with Jacob.

A big red sign that said "6:00 AM" was flashing right in front of my eyes, that I felt like I was going to get blinded and the buzzer went off. The noise was just irritating and I needed more sleep. I reached my hand over and slid the buzzer of my night stand. It went to the floor with a loud shatter. _Great! _I was waiting for a lecture from dad when I get up. This had to be like the hundredth that I smashed.

"Nessie wake up" Mum shook me hard "Wake up now. It's almost seven" _Seven?!! _Wow. They actually let me sleep a whole hour! That was never like them! _Probably were too busy to notice the time. _I shuddered. I opened my eyes and got up.

I had called Annie last night and told her I was getting my own ride to school today. I had pleaded with dad to let me drive to school in his Volvo for just this once. It was last day of school. Ever. Well not ever, ever. I would have to go to school again sometime in the somehow near future. But it was the last day of school, here, with Annie and Richard. and the _band._ Yea, yesterday, Justin said we are "the" band.

I dragged myself to the bathroom and started the shower.

"Ness?" Dad's voice came from outside the bathroom door.

"Yes dad"

"Honey, you'll have to go to school today by your own car!"

"WHAT" I practically screamed.

"Yea, am sorry. Something is wrong with the Volvo and it won't start up. Guess this is the disadvantage of not living with Rosalie right now" He gave a small giggle.

I wanted to scream. This was so not happening to me. _No no no no...I can't drive that dump, stupid, rich-people car!! I want Jacob right now...._

"Yea, Jacob as well" He sighed "Come on quickly. You're mum made some fast breakfast for you" I heard my door close quietly.

I took a real short shower and dressed quickly. I had kinds known what I wanted to wear today, so thank God, picking out clothes was not an issue. I blow dried my hair, so that it would just dry faster. I grabbed my car keys, bag, music sheets and sunglasses.

I practically ran to the kitchen. A hot cup of coffee was waiting for me. I took it all in one breath. It was hot but exhilarating. I instantly felt the caffeine working it's way up my brain. I looked at my watch. It was 7:30 AM. I had forty five minutes till my first class and it was almost an hour long drive to school.

"I'll drive you to school in thirty minutes" Dad was smiling widely. He never missed a chance to drive like a maniac.

"How will you get back home?"

"I'll manage. Come on." He turned and looked over at mum "Bella, would you like to come along? And maybe we could go hunt, it's been a while" He asked looking over at my mum and giving her his crooked smile.

I knew where this was going, and that is probably why I almost never went hunting alone with them. She just smiled back shyly at him and followed us to the garage.

I haven't came to check up on _my _car in a long while. Surprisingly, it looked in amazing shape. And it was sparkling spotless.

"You didn't think we were going to leave a really nice car like this untaken care of, did you?" Dad was still smiling widely. Of course not, they would take care of it more than taking car of me, cause Alice will probably kill them if they don't.

I was wondering why dad was in such a good mood thing morning.

We got into the car and dad pulled out and drove off. The drive was silent. Dad reached his hand over and held mum's hand in his. My mind wondered back to Tuesday and Wednesday night. My dream Jake and Nessie had a mind of their own. And boy, were their relationship progressing. Tuesday night, Jacob was shirtless and Wednesday morning, I was waken before Nessie was braless. _Yes, they were definitely going somewhere. _I bet that wasn't really the sight dad wanted to see.

The fact that he didn't contact me was plain torture. Something was wrong. But I was way to proud to call him and ask if I did something to offend him in any way. If he had a problem with me, he should just say it.

I was suddenly aware that we were outside school.

"Dad, take back the car. I'll get a ride back with Annie" I told dad before I reached over and gave both him and mum a kiss on their cheeks.

Once I got out the car sped off again. I got my cell phone out and texted Annie that she would have to take me home after school. I was already late for class.

Today's practice was same as usual. We worked for four hours today thought, cause this would almost be the last we were done, I got everybody's attention.

"Alright everyone. Today is our last practice before Saturday. I am so proud of you all and the way you progressed, you are amazing" They were all beaming at me "I know you guys finish Thursday, so am gonna ask you guys to try and practice separately. And just on the parts you think you need to work on. Saturday we'll meet at my place at eleven AM. That alright with you guys?" Everybody nodded their approval.

"I guess this is all" I smiled "Good luck with your finals" Everybody came and gave me a quick hug and goodbye. The last one was Ryan.

"Hey you want a ride home? I got my car today"

"Thanks Ryan" I gave him a small smile "But am going to ride home with Annie today. But thanks again" I patted his forearm for a second, before I pulled away. He gave me a small smile and a nod. Ryan surprised me by being the perfect gentlemen. He took my answer with the best spirit ever and was completely normal, he was even showing his real self now more than before. And for that I was glad.

"Bye Nessie" He walked outta class and waved his right hand without looking back.

"Bye Ryan" I smiled to myself and went to collect my things and walk to the parking lot where Annie was.

The drive home was just normal and with light conversation. Annie doesn't bring up prom anymore, which am so grateful.

The house was filled with my mum's lullaby when I came into the house. Then it switched professionally to my lullaby. If I didn't know dad was playing my song, I would have thought it was one flowing piece.

I walked into the music room to find my dad on the piano, and mum sitting next to him, resting her head on his shoulder and smiling. Dad looked up to me and smiled gently. I smiled back.

I was feeling tired and exhausted. Not just physically, but also mentally. I knew my dad could know everything that is going on with me. But the fact that he just gave me privacy, not acting or commenting on anything that comes into my mind, just makes me feel so much better.

The music was gradually getting slow and I knew my song was coming to an end. My parents looked up at me and smiled. Mum stood up and walked towards me with her arms open. I walked the left distance right into her arms and I cried. I was surprised that it was me, my sobs. She just hugged me tighter.

"Nessie baby what's wrong?" Mum asked, her voice was anxious and worried. She patted my hair gently.

"I just want this week to just move" I said between sobs "I wanna go home. I miss everyone" I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. I took in my mother's scent. It was such a soothing scent.

"Oh honey" Mum's tone, turned sympathetic. She started rubbing my back gently "It will fly. I promise" She pulled my away from her shoulder and looked at me. I saw her smile at me and I couldn't help the smile that crept to my face. I rubbed my eyes and wiped the tears.

Dad came up behind mum and with a small smile over his face. I went over to him and hugged him. Dad's scent for me, was just overwhelming. It filled me in and took every ounce of tiredness away. I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me to him close.

_I love you father. Thank you for everything. Thank you for writing me that song._ I smiled into his chest.

"I love you too baby girl. And thank you for filling my life with so much joy, wariness, anxiety and minor heart attacks" I couldn't help the chuckle. The irony of the last part. I pulled away and looked up at dad, he was smiling widely at me.

"Lunch is ready in the kitchen honey" Mum announced behind me and left the room. Dad guided me to the kitchen counter where mum was already placing a plate of grilled chicken breasts and vegetables.

"Mum" I looked up at her with a huge grin "Looks great" I looked over to dad "Too bad you can't taste this. Missing out a lot" I teased.

"I know. But am imagining it through the smell. It always smells good. I never smelt your mum burning any food" He said sarcastically and grinned and I chuckled.

"Hey! I only burnt the food because of you" She looked at dad angrily "You know exactly what you did Edward"

_I know exactly what happened! _Dad was giving her a his crooked smile. _Oh boy! Tonight isn't going to be so quite. _Dad was trying to hold himself from grinning, but I knew better.

When I was done with my food, I cleaned up the dishes.

"Mum?"

"Yes Hun?"

"I wanna go tomorrow shopping. I wanna buy everyone something. And I need to look for something nice to wear for my performance next Sunday"

"Of course, baby. We'll go it first thing in the morning" I went over to mum and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I looked over to my father.

"You have to come with" He smiled "So that I won't pick up anything you won't like and then have to take it back or worse, put it in my closet and never get to wear it" He laughed lightly and I joined.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Get that sweetie" Dad told me taking over washing the pans.

I walked to the front door and opened the door to find a young man wearing a FedEx uniform.

"Afternoon miss. I have a package for Ms. Renesmee Cullen" He smiled at me.

"Yea, that's me" He looked a bit surprised."Alright. Please sign here" He handed me an electronic board and pen. I signed my name and he smiled widely as he gave me a big brown box. I heard a low growl from the kitchen. _Must be having impure thoughts!_

I muttered a small thank you and practically slammed the door shut in his face.

I went back to the kitchen and put the box on the counter. Mum came behind me as I unwrapped the paper from it.

"This must be Alice's dress" She sounded excited.

"Yea" I said as I took the lid off. I gasped in shock. _No freaking way! She did not!_

I pulled the dress out and mum put an arm around my shoulder.

"Isn't this the dress you liked so much from this movie?"

"Atonement" I said still gazing at the dress. I had once told Alice that I liked Keira Knightley's emerald dress in Atonement. But I would have never guessed that she would actually make me a replica of the dress! This is insane. I felt kinda sorry that I wouldn't be wearing it any time soon.

"You can always change you mind and go to prom" Dad replied my silent thoughts.

"No" I smiled at him "This would have to wait for something special"

I reached for the phone and dialled Alice's number. She picked up before the first ring was done.

"Alice you are the most amazing aunt ever! OH MY GOD! The emerald dress, Alice. I love it so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you" I was jumping up and down and I hear her and Jasper laughing.

"Am so glad you loved it sweetie. I bet you would look hot in it Friday night. Just make sure to pull you're hair up"

"I won't be going to prom Alice. Am so sorry. I feel awful you had gone into so much trouble for the dress." She giggled

"But Ness, you will be wearing it Friday night. I have seen it" I was taken aback. Am I changing my mind and going to prom after all?

"What do you mean? Am I going to prom?"

"You'll have to wait and see, my darling Renesmee"

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	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay chapter 6 is finally here, and am really sorry to have kept you all waiting, but I am extremly busy with college and exams and everything. But I would like to thank you all, for still reading and coming back to read.**

**I would like to thank, _beadlelove _and _taylorlautner4life11 _for reviewing, thank you guys so much, couldn't go on without you :D. I would also like to thank my beta _OrangeFlower_, for still being my firend and beta, with all my nagging and pushing her to read and edit :D yea, I can be an ass sometimes, but she did an awesome job. Couldn't have done it without you DEE**

**Hope you enjoy this one, and pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase REVIWE.**

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**Chapter Six**

_You'll have to wait and see, my darling Renesmee. _It was itching me. I couldn't sleep at all last night. I wanted…no, I _needed_ to know what she meant.

I was restless, I sat in my bed trying to figure out what decision did I make that will get me in that dress. I found nothing. I still didn't want to go to prom. I didn't even feel a liking to the idea anymore. And then it kinda hit me in my head and I jolted upright in bed when I thought that maybe they were all coming down here a day early and Alice was throwing me a surprise graduation party.

"No they are not" Dad shouted from his bedroom "Don't worry Alice would never do such a thing without telling me" A pause "She won't ask me, she'd just do it. But trust me she would tell me"

I felt relived. I slept. But I was restless.

Mum woke me up and told me she and dad were ready whenever I wanted to leave for a mall. I took my time in the shower to help me relax more, and ate my breakfast and got ready.

It was a Saturday but the mall was relatively empty due to the fact that it was the end of school and college year. Everybody is usually busy with studying now.

I wasn't really concentrating on the shopping but I looked up when I was called and gave my opinion on the things we were choosing for everybody. Eventually when my dad snapped a finger in front of my face to remind me that I still had to choose an outfit for Sunday, did I start to get my head into it.

When I asked my parents if we can get some things for the recent and retired pack members and their wives or girlfriends, they said it was alright.

Since what happened with the Volturi seventeen years ago. The number of werewolves increased. But then, Sam and Emily, Paul and Rachel, Jared and Kim got married, and the guys decided to give up their wolf, so that they would be able to grow old with their wives and kids. Yea, kids. Sam and Emily have a sixteen year old Ezek and a nine year old Sybille. Paul and Rachel have fourteen twin girls, Lucy and Sophie. And Jared and Kim have an eleven year old, Raymond. Jacob had told me that Quil was also planning on retiring once he gets married.

And so, since Sam's pack became alpha-less, Jacob had taken over the two pack together and was alpha over twelve wolves.

We had covered almost half the mall when I told my parents I needed to stop for food. Dad took our purchase, so far, and put them in the car, so we won't have to walk with them all over the place.

The only person I still hadn't gotten anything to was Jacob. So once I was done, we started to head back to the stores.

After a couple of ones with no luck, mum started leading us in the direction of a dress store. I started laughing.

"Mum am sure that we are going to find something just outstanding for Jacob in here" I couldn't stop the laughs and the giggles.

"Yea am sure Jacob will appreciate the gesture" She giggles with me.

Once we got into the shop, an assistant came up to us.

"Can I help you with anything?" She asked politely and looking at all of us and lingering especially at my father. Mum noticed it too, because she leaned into his side and held his hand.

"Yea I want a formal dress" I said distracting her form dad "I am playing at my school's show"

"I think we have the thing just for that. Any particular colour you had in mind?" She asked as she leaded me the a section of formal dresses.

"Am playing the piano, so I was thinking maybe a dress that is black and white"

"Perfect"

She started going through racks of clothes and was picking out dresses on the way "Here. Try these on and if you don't like any of them we'll look again" She gestured with her hand to the fitting room and I walked behind her. She hung up the dresses on the inside. "If you need any help, just call me. Am Gazelle"

With that she left me in the fitting room. I tried on the first dress. It was polka doted black and white. It was nice, but not for a performance. More of an after party kind of dress.

I tried the second dress and mum's voice came behind the door.

"Ness, honey, how are things going?"

"I don't like either the ones I tried. Am gonna try the third now"

"Well come out, and let us see"

I looked at the third dress I was going to put on and I instantly fell in love with it. It was an almost sleeveless dress. It was white until under the breast line and then had black beadings separate both parts. It is then completed by black satin that hung my curves beautifully and not to tight for my father's likings.

I went out to show my parents.

"I think this is the one" I looked at both my parents reactions. Both were smiling and nodding their heads in approval.

"It suits you well honey" Mum came over and ran her hand over my back.

"And suit's the theme just perfect. Symbolises the white and black keys of the piano" Dad smiled widely.

I got back to the changing room and got back in my clothes. We got the dress and finally left the shop.

I was so excited and happy about the success. I was cut off from my day dreaming when dad's cell phone went off.

"Alice?" Mum looked at him and chuckled. "Yes we got the dress" Pause "Yes and she liked it very much. She chose it God damn it!" I looked at my dad with shock written all over my face. My father, Edward Cullen just swore at his sister Alice. Now that is a moment that should be written down in history books.

"Yea? What colour? Yes, I guess we can manage that. Thank you Alice. And I am sorry I swore at you. Shopping just is not something I enjoy immensely" He smiled at me and mum frowning and mouthed "Sorry"

He closed the phone with Alice.

"What was that about?" Mum asked him.

"Alice just told me about this _great_ gift that Jacob would love" At the sound of his name, my head snapped up. Dad looked up at me and smiled. I looked eagerly at him to continue.

"Well?" I grew impatient.

"A tie" He was still smiling. I looked at him for a moment then burst out laughing in the middle of the mall.

"Oh my God! Alice is just so funny" I continued laughing "Like Jake actually owns a dress shirt for that tie" My face grew more serious "No way. We're buying him that Black Berry he wanted."

"Actually a tie is a really nice idea, honey" I looked at mum in shock.

"Mum! You and Jake are like best friends, you know he would never ever wear a tie! But of course you're gonna side with your husband over him! I should have known!" I said sarcastically.

"Well, Alice said he would like it" Mum tried to point out.

"Mum Alice can barely see me and she can't see Jacob at all!"

"We are going to get him the tie Ness" Dad said in a matter-of-factly tone.

"But I want to get him something and it won't be the tie"

"Then you'll just have to pay for it with your own money" Dad teased.

"Fine, I have enough money to last me a life time as it is" I teased back.

I didn't know why my parents just insisted on the tie. Why were we even arguing about something as insignificant. I knew Jacob was going to hate it to the core.

We went to a shop that only had ties. And I had to say they were really nice ties. But ones that I would buy my father, grandfather and maybe Jasper. I wouldn't even buy Emmett something from here, let alone Jake.

My dad went straight for the silk, plain ones. He picked out an emerald green tie. It did look very pretty. But I was just confused as to why would Jake be ever happy with a gift like this.

"We'll have this one please" My mum took it from dad and handed it to the assistant, who led us to the cashier. She looked and dad and smiled a crooked smile. _I wonder what that was_. But I just let in go.

"He will adore it Nessie, I promise" Mum tired to lead me to their dark side. But I was not going to give up easily. I was still buying Jacob something _I _thought was perfect for him.

"Fine. Alright" Dad said in a surrendering tone "We'll get him whatever you want as well"

I looked up at dad slowly and smiled at him. _Thank you._ He nodded at me.

The final stop for the day, the electronics shop. We got in and dad and I, we starting looking over some different phones that Jacob might like. I decided on a black Black Berry, that screamed Jacob all over the place.

We paid for it, and left the store. We headed back to the car and drove back home. I helped dad with all the bags, then excused myself to take a shower.

When I was done with the shower I got dressed and held the towel to my hair trying to dry it out. I headed to the kitchen to get myself something to drink, when I heard my dad talking to someone on the phone in his study.

"She is not going with anyone. No we did not decide anything for her, she took this decision on her own." My dad sounded frustrated.

"How many times am I going to repeat this, I do not care about how things have been changing for you. We had a deal, and you can't just do as you please Jacob" _Jacob? What the hell?_

"She needs to choose to herself. She is already going through a lot right now and I am not going to have you add up to her confusion." _Whoare they talking about?_

I then heard my dad clear his throat loudly, obviously aware of my thoughts about his conversation with _asshole_ Jake.

"We'll continue out talk later. I have to now. I will. Goodbye" I went quickly to my dad's study.

"Was that Jake?" I asked impatiently.

"Yes" He looked me straight in the eye.

"What is wrong with him?"

"Nothing is wrong with him, he just has some problems at work"

"I don't buy it. If he had problems he would call me and he hasn't done that in five days now. I wanna know what's wrong and I wanna know it now" I was surprised at my tone.

"Watch your tone with me Renesmee" My dad was calm but stern "I am still your father. Now, as to why Jacob have not talked to you in a while, it's because he is extremely busy at work and patrol so that he would be able to come over next weekend"

I knew it was not the truth. How could he lie to me like this, my own father. And Jacob, I was so mad at him. I felt like I had to punch him in the face.

I just nodded at my father and left. I went to my room and opened my computer. I decided I needed to calm down for a little bit. I would listen to some music or maybe watch a movie or something.

I though I'd check my email while I was at it. I opened my Messenger and I found Jake's green online bulb. I wanted to slam the computer in the wall.

_Yea right. EXTREMLY BUSY! _I screamed in my head.

I waited for him to send me an instant message or something. I kept staring at the green bubble feeling that if I looked away for a second, it would just disappear.

I felt longing for him that I have never felt before. I have never been this disconnected from Jake for more than a day. I needed him so bad.

A couple of minutes passed and I decided I'd give up my pride and break the ice. I wrote him "Hey" and as I was going to click enter, he left. The green bubble went off.

I felt my heart being ripped out of it's place. I just stood up and threw myself on bed and cried myself to sleep.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Autor's Note: This chapter took me forever to write. I am so sorry to have everybody wait for so long, but i have been reaally busy with exams and college. They are just killing us!**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one, because I enjoyed writing it a lot. And I am very ecxited to be starting chapter 8, cause this is when all the fun will start ;)**

**I would like to thank and send a lot of love to _beadlelove_, _eclipsesolar_, _Hellsinki-Wereworlf-69_, _EmmettsBlondeBabe_, _Chara Jolly _and _KeiokoSumi _for reviewing. Thank you guys so much for all the support, it means a lot and boosts me up :D Keep it on!**

**And of course, I gotta thank my amazing friend and betta OrangeFlower, for still keeping up with my bull and all :D and staying up late to edit and give me her opnions :D Love ya babe.**

**And hey, if you guys wanna check out like some of the clothes and stuff of the characters, please head out to my profile and you will fins links to photos. Hope they help with the imagination :D**

**I guess this is all. So, enjoy and please don't forget to leave some love and review :) Till later.**

**I do not own Twilight, or any of it's characters.**

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Chapter Seven

I was mopping around for the next five days. My days and nights were just the same. I was robotic, everything was done for the sake to be finished. My exams were normal, nothing I haven't already done before.

I didn't play once any music. I didn't even try to practice my part in the piece. I couldn't read, watch television. Everything was done is such a slow motion.

I was crushed. I felt frustrated and betrayed. Jacob has never done anything like that to me before. Never left me so lone.

My parents were worried over me, I could always see it in their eyes. Dad tried almost everything to get me out of the state I was in. He even told me that he would give me his Volvo, but I was not just in the mood for it.

All my family members were calling me frequently to try and cheer me up. Even Seth, Quil, Claire and Embry called.

Everyone but Jacob. Everyone but the one person I needed the most.

With each day I was getting grumpier, moodier and I was very hard to please.

Today was Wednesday. We just finished our last exam and everybody was celebrating and exciting about prom and graduation. Everybody talked about which college they were going to attend and how they were going to miss each other.

Annie wasn't any different. Even though I didn't tell her what happened, I was sure she kind of guessed it because she noticed how I was acting and asked me once about it, but never hovered, and I was grateful.

Dad came on time and he tried to make the same small talk as usual.

"How was you're exam today?"

I stated re-calling my exam and my answers in my head for him to see.

"Good. Proud of you sweetie" He smiled warmly at me.

We stayed silent the whole way back to our house.

Once we got there, I just hopped out of the car and marched into the house. I started making my way to my room when mum called me from the kitchen.

"I made you some lunch" She placed a plate of steak and mashed potatoes. The food did look great, but I didn't feel like eating.

"Looks great mum" I smiled at her "But am really tired I think I would just got take a nap or something"

Mum came around the counter and gave me a hug "Baby, you haven't eaten well in the last week" She looked at me with worry "You didn't want to come and hunt with us. You…"

"Am alright" I smiled.

"Let her get some rest" Dad put a hand on my shoulder "Am sure she'll feel better after a nice shower and nap" I turned around to be engulfed in my father's arms. His embrace was so soothing.

I remember once when I was younger and I couldn't sleep and dad came in my room and held me in his arms. I have never felt safer. _Except when in Jacob's arms._

_Jacob…_If he needed space or privacy or even if he was bored with me, I could deal with that. But knowing nothing…it just kills.

I left my dad's arm and walked to my room. I dropped myself on the bed not even bothering with my clothes.

_I just wanna know you're okay._

I didn't know when I dozed off, when I woke up and when I slept again. I don't know how Thursday came and went.

I was breathing, but not existing, not living. I was a ghost.

"Wake up. God damn it Renesmee, get up right now!" Annie was screaming in my ears.

"Get out Annie, am not done sleeping" My voice was hoarse.

"Yes you are. What the hell is wrong with you. Bella and Edward told me that you have been sleeping since Wednesday afternoon. That is not normal - "

"This is completely normal. Am on my summer break" I tried to stay calm "Now, get out. I want to sleep late"

"No am not" She threw the sheets off me "You're going to get up and shower, because I made us appointments at the stylist's. If you're not going to prom, at least you're going to let me have a couple of pictures of us in our dresses" I opened my mouth to say something but she shut me off "You owe me that much" She gave me a small smile "Now get up"

I didn't know somebody could be as loud and demanding as Alice, but apparently Annie reached the level.

I got up, not needing more yelling from here and went to my bathroom.

When I came out, I was showered and ready for whatever Annie wanted to do. I found some clothes put on my bed. I quickly got dressed and went out to the kitchen, where Annie was sitting at the counter, mum was at the stove, doing some eggs and bacon and dad was resting leaning on the sink near mum.

"Wow, finally out of bed. Am so glad you can grace us with your presence" Dad said teasingly giving me a smirk.

"Morning Eddie" I smirked back. I knew how much he hated anybody calling him that. But today he seemed un phased by it.

"Morning Ness"

I took a seat next to a smiling Annie. Mum put two plates of food for us and some coffee for me.

"Hey" I smiled at her.

"Hey" She gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I looked over at dad.

_Aren't you going to get me out of this?_

He chuckled lightly and shook his head at me.

_TRAITOR!!!!_

He chuckled again and moved to make his way out.

In the light to try and make things look more human for Annie, I gestured at my plate of food "You?"

"Like I could wait until your highness gets out of bed" He was trying to sound sarcastic. He got into that whole brother role so well.

My parents went out of the kitchen. Annie and I ate in silence.

"Do you wanna talk about it" She asked me not looking away from her food.

"Nope" I did the same.

And that was the last of it. She didn't ask me about anything for the rest of the day which I was grateful for. I was a bit sad that I was leaving Annie, I grew real close to her and she knew me way too well. She was truly an amazing friend and I hoped that we wouldn't lose contact over the way.

We went to the stylist and got out hair and nails done. Once we were by my door again. Annie turned off the engine and turned to look at me.

"So, I'll see you in about an hour thirty" I nodded "Richard will pick me up and we'll come and stuff. He wants his picture too" She laughed lightly. I smiled.

"I hope you are alright Ness. And if you change your mind, you know am gonna be here right. I mean you can even call me when am at prom and stuff" I kind of launched myself at her. I hugged her tightly and was surprised that she hugged me with the same intensity.

"Thanks Annie" I let go of her and opened my door "I'll see you later" We both waved lightly as she drove off.

I got into the house and it was awfully quite. There seem to be no one. _That's weird_. My parents never went anywhere without me knowing about it. I pulled my phone to see if I had any texts or missed calls. Nothing.

I speed dialled my dad's number. One ring.

"_Hey hun, you home yet?_"

"Yea, I just wanted to call to let you know am home and that Annie and Richard are gonna come in like a while. When are you coming back?"

"_We won't be long. We're just picking a few things for the house_"

"Alright"

"_See you in a few_"

I walked to my room and got the dress out and stripped to underwear and slipped my it on. I turned around to look at how it was in the mirror and I gasped.

I couldn't believe how beautiful the dress hugged my form and flowed down to my feet. It fit me perfectly and I just couldn't get over how amazing Alice was.

I walked to my vanity and fumbled around in my make up trying to decide what to wear. I finally wanted to go with a natural look. So I put on some black eye liner and mascara. I brushed my cheeks with a little rose blusher and then, some lip gloss for my lips.

Satisfied with how I looked, I turned around and started looking in my closet for some matching shoes. I found the perfect silver high heeled sandals. I sat on my bed as I slipped them on.

When I was done, I looked at my reflection in my full mirror. _So this is why Alice saw me in the dress. _I laughed at how I was stressed out about if for a whole day.

I heard the door unlock and two sets of feets walking into the house.

"Mum" I called her.

A second later my mother was in my room, and she was smiling widely at me.

"Renesmee…" She gasped it out.

"How do I look?"

"You look so beautiful" My mum came and gave me a hug "When did you grow up so much" I chuckled.

"Mum, I have been looking almost the same since I was eight years old" She pulled back with a look on her face that says that if she could cry she would.

"Yea, but I think it just hit me that my own daughter is becoming a woman"

"Thank God you're not going to that prom" My dad said from the door "I would have been killing a lot of guys then" I laughed lightly.

"No you wouldn't" I smiled and went to hug him.

"You do look so grown up" He was smiling warmly and embracing me.

"You guys" I blushed "I looked like this since like forever" He leaned forward and kissed me on my forehead.

"I don't care how old you are or look, you are still my little girl"

"I always will be my daddy's little girl. Am never gonna be old for you to hold me father" I held him tightly.

The door bell rang.

"I think you're friends are here" Mum smiled and we all walked to the door.

I gasped once the door opened.

"Oh my God, you said black. You look like fire in red" My mouth was hanging open "And I thought I looked hot" She moved and hugged me. When we let go I looked at her to asses her.

Her dress was a bright red one shoulder dress. It hugged her curves perfectly and flowed down to the floor. It had a high opening to her thigh. I felt sorry for Richard. He was going to have to look at her all night and keep his hands to himself.

I giggled at her "Annie you look hot"

"Look who is talking. Keira Knightley's dress is hardly playing it fair. This dress is begging you to take it out to a public place" Everybody was laughing and smiling.

Richard was behind Annie in a black tux and tie. He looking dashing as well. While Annie got in and was receiving compliments from my parents, I went and hugged him.

"You should come with us Nessie. I mean you are already dressed and everything. And I'll drive you home whenever you want" He had a pleading smile on his face.

"How are you able to think coherent thoughts about me while you're having her with you. Stop thinking about me and think about how you're going to survive" I winked at him.

"Hey" We both laughed and hugged again.

I ushered him inside and closed the door. Annie had gotten a small camera from her purse and was handing it to my dad. Mum was coming back to the living room with my camera and a small jewellery box.

"Hey, I want you wear these" She handed me the small box "Your brother got them for me, so I want them back when your done" she smirked at me "But right now, I think they would look stunning on you"

I opened the box, and there sitting in the middle, were the most beautiful diamond studs. I knew dad got them for her like a couple of years ago for her birthday. And I also remember the fit she threw after she saw them. It was very funny.

I hugged her. _Thank you mother. I love you._ She smiled warmly at me and nodded. I took them out and out them on quickly.

"Come on, come on. I haven't got all night" Annie rushed me to stand beside her and Richard.

We took a couple of pictures of the three of us. Then Annie took her camera from dad and took a shot of me and Richard together. My mum was taking pictures as well. Then Annie swapped with Richard.

When she came beside me, I took her in a hug. We faced the camera and started doing some funny poses. I felt so happy, but then realised I was leaving in less than a week. I wasn't going to let that affect me now. I would enjoy this to it's upmost.

After we were done. Annie was giving me a puppy dog face "Please come with us, please. I mean you are ready and gorgeous and the boys are going to go crazy" Dad growled quietly. I chuckled "Am that dress is practically screaming for you to show it off"

"Don't worry Annie" Dad interfered. _Thank God _"She'll be showing it off tonight" _WHAT?? _He turned to me "Bella and I, we want to take you out to dinner, you know to celebrate the whole graduation thing. And since you're not going to prom. We thought tonight would be great" He paused for a moment as of studying my reaction "Unless. Of course, you wanna go with your friends"

"No. I would like it very much" _Better than prom, I guess. I just have to tolerate them for a few hours and them am back to bed._

I turned to Annie "Am sorry"

She gave me a sad smile and shook her head "No, don't be. I mean, at least someone is going to see it tonight" We both giggled "Alright" She turned to Richard and he nodded "I guess this is our queue to go. Enjoy your night" She smiled and hugged me.

"You too" I winked at her and she blushed. My parents giggled and then Richard kinda blushed.

"So, we'll see you guys later" Richard said as he opened the door.

"Course" I smiled at him widely. He held Annie's hand and started to lead her out.

"Bye. Don't have too much fun. Bad for the health ya know" I teased them as they went outside. Annie looked at me over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out.

I laughed lightly as they got into the car. I closed the door as they sped off.

I turned to see my parents smiling smugly.

"You know, you tricked me into this" I pointed out.

"You know you wouldn't have agreed any other way. I know how much you didn't want prom tonight" Dad teased.

"So you use it against me!" He shuddered with a smile. I sighed "Do I have to do this?"

"We won't force you honey" Mum said sweetly "We just wanna celebrate this with you as a family" I sighed again in defeat.

"Where are we going?"

"The Pierre Hotel" _Nice _"There's this charity event. There's gonna be live orchestra, playing oldies, light dancing and everything" I smiled lightly "I know you like these things" _Thanks father._

"Alright, so just give us a minute to get dressed?" Mum asked.

"Sure" I shuddered as they left the room and went to sit in the living room.

I flickered the television on and started going through channels to find something to entertain myself until they were done.

There was a light knock on the front door. I put the remote down and got up.

"I'll get it. Probably Annie. Must have forgot something" I said in a moderate voice for my parents to hear but not Annie.

I smiled as I went to open the door.

"So, what is it this time?" I said as I swang the door open. The smile fell from my face once I saw who it was. I started for a moment to make sure I was not hallucinating.

This was definitely not Annie.

There, in a black tux, white shirt and _a _silk emerald green tie, stood the least person in the world that I wanted to see right now.

Jacob Black.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:**

**I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN SUCH A RESPONSE BEFORE TOWARDS A CHAPTER. I wish i could express ecxactly how I felt, but I have never felt more happy or more proud of myself. So, Thank you all.**

**Thank you guys so so so much, i can not fins enough words to thank each and everyone of you who read and revewied.  
****Special thanks to _EmmettsBlondBabe_, _TaylorLautner4Life11_, _eclipsesolar_, _Hellsinki-Werewolf-69_, , _.NESSIEE._, _onetreefan_, _paige_, _ravennalovejacob:)_, _KeiokoSumi_, _Chara Jolly_, _twilightfan4144_, and _conformityissuicide_, for revewing and making my days with your reviews. I am so happy that you all liked it so much. Thank you so much for your support. I only hope that I wouldn't dissapoint you and that this chapter would reach your expectations as well.**

**I would also like to thank my beta _OrangeFlower_. Thanks for the support.**

**So, I have gotten two readers to pointed out something for me. They told me that I use "Am" instead of "I am" alot and that it was a bit distracting for him. I wanetd to apologize for that and say that it is not something intentional, but i just got used to talking this way and writing it like this. They also said that it is wrong and that i can't use it, but I have to disagree with that. I asked my English professor and she told me that it is used in common english, in unformal conversations. Plus, I have noticed it alot in movies and some books that I read.**

**Again, if it upset some of you, I am really sorry, it was not intentional. And I will try to take care next time :) Sorry!**

**Alright, so this chapter was so hard for me o write. I have never felt anything like Nessie, so trying to deliver her feelings through words was almost imposible. So I hope you enjoy it. And pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase leave some love.**

**Warning: Small Lime by the end of the chapter.**

**I do not own Twilight.**

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**Chapter Eight**

I started to breath heavily and I could hear my heart hammering inside my chest. Our eyes were locked together and his stare was piercing my soul.

I felt the rage and pent up frustration begin to surface up. His lips tugged upwards just slightly, in a very small smile. I could hear his heart racing and he was holding his breath.

"Hey Ness" His voice was warm, calm, deep and husky. And it was my last straw.

My right hand clenched up and as if it was reflex action, I slapped him across the face.

I guess it was hard because my hand hurt like a bitch.

Shock was the only emotion over his face. Then it slowly started to change to pain. And I couldn't stand to see Jacob in pain.

I threw myself at him and snaked my arms around his neck and shoulders. I pushed myself up against him, and my feet was dangling above the ground. After a few seconds I felt his arms, hesitantly, wrap around my waist holding me closer to him.

I started panting and I was an emotional wreck at the moment. I was feeling rage, anger, frustration, longing, love…

I started sobbing quietly, as I buried my face in his neck. His scent and heat were intoxicating. And my body was aching for more.

I felt his face on the top my head, inhaling deeply, as if filling himself with my scent as well.

I felt so confused. How could I be having the need to beat him to death but at the same time, have my heart ache so much from him, for his scent, warmth and touch.

I pushed against his chest to let him know I wanted him to put me down. And he did slowly.

I looked him in the eye and felt the rage win for a minute again.

"You jerk" I shouted at him as I punched him in the chest "The nerve you have to look me in the eye" and I stepped back in the house. I slammed the door shut as I saw him trying to move towards me.

I was breathing hard and my mind was going through a storm.

I ran towards my parent's room and pushed the door open. My dad was sitting on the bed edge with my mother between his legs, holding his face to rest against her chest. She was rocking him gently, as if soothing him.

"You set me up" I raged against my parents "Both of you. You knew about this. God, I bet you were picking him up, when you were out a while ago" Tears rolled against my cheeks.

Dad freed himself from mum's embrace and looked at me.

"I am so sorry Renesmee" I could hear the sincerity dripping from his voice "I just thought it would make you feel better. Baby, seeing you like this for the past week, was killing me and I thought I was doing the right thing for you" He got up and came towards me quickly.

I looked at my feet, knowing how dad always felt the need the inflict guilt upon himself whenever me or my mum got upset, even at the slightest of things. I felt ashamed that I made him feel this way. I wished I could take my outburst back.

I felt my dad's arms pulling me to him. And I cried harder. Cried for all the times I wouldn't before, cried for the way I hurt my parents. I cried for being so dependent on _him_.

"I am sorry father" He held me to him closer, rocking me gently and comforting me "I…He just…" _He broke my heart…he broke my heart so bad_. I couldn't say it out loud. Even if _he_ hurt me bad, I won't return the favour, because I won't be able to. And I knew if he heard me saying it, he would be in pain.

I couldn't find the energy to talk.

_I miss his so much. I miss everything about him. _I found myself pouring myself out in front of my father. But I was not embarrassed or ashamed. I only wished I could have broken down like this earlier. Maybe then, seeing him tonight, wouldn't have triggered my emotions in such a way.

"I know sweetheart. I know" My father cooed me. I felt my dad shift under me. And suddenly realised that he had carried me to the window seat and put me over his lap.

To an outsider, this might have looked extremely weird. But to me, this was my sanctuary.

My father didn't find the need to say anything. He only held me close to him and rocked me gently, petting my hair or rubbing my arms occasionally.

After a while, I started to calm down and I was breathing evenly again. I started to move out of my father's embrace and sit beside him on the window seat.

"So…If you just give me a minute to freshen up, we can still go" I said looking out into the night and avoiding his gaze.

"You still want to go" My father sounded extremely shocked "Yes am very…Shocked. Ness, you don't - "

"Am fine. There is no reason for us not to go out and celebrate. Even if he is coming with us. I don't mind. It will be fun" _It will be easier to get rid of his body when I kill him because we'll be already near central park_.

My dad chuckled.

"You can tell mum that I'll be out in a minute" I smiled.

I walked to my bathroom and splashed some cold water over my face. When I looked up in the mirror, my make up was damaged. _Great!_

I went back to the room and re-did everything, but it didn't take a lot of time. I looked in the mirror and decided that if I wanted I can do anything. And I was going to do this. _If this is how you want it Jacob, then let's play._

My parents and Jacob were sitting in the living room. Jacob was sitting on the edge of the armchair, his hands tangled together between his legs and he was looking down on the floor.

I hadn't noticed what mum was wearing before. But now I looked, she had a black strapless dress that had a white sash draped over it. She looked beautiful.

When I came in, all of them got up.

"Ness - "Jacob started but I cut him in.

"Dad, which car are we taking?" I asked looking directly at my father.

"The Volvo, I guess. Or do you want to drive your car?"

"No it's cool" I shuddered in indifference.

My dad made his way to the door and nodded for Jacob to come with him.

"Mum, can you shield me tonight?" I put a hand on mum's arm and gave her a pledging look.

"Are you alright Ness? We don't have to go if you - " Mum looked a little bit concerned.

"I just don't want to give dad a headache" I reasoned. Mum just nodded and we both made it outside.

Dad's Volvo was waiting for us by the front door. Mum went and sat in the front seat with dad and I was stuck into the back seat next to Jacob.

Once I sat, I looked out the window and started watching the scenery. A couple of minutes in the drive, I caught it. Jacob's scent.

Cherry wood and pine leaves…

I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on getting it out of my head. It didn't work. I started breathing through my mouth. That only made it worse, it felt like I could taste him.

God, I just wanted to jump him right here, right now. He was a couple of inches away from me, just one touch…

His scent engulfed me whole and I shifted uncomfortably in my place. The need to touch his skin…

An image of his face from earlier came right in front of my eyes. God, his lips look delicious. If I could just touch mine to…

_Snap out of it Nessie. Not gonna happen here. You're hating him right now, remember!_

My inner voice shouted at me.

"So Jacob" Mum broke the silence "What's the plan for the summer?"

"Umm…I've been working non-stop and collecting all my holidays together, so that I can have like a whole month off"

"That's great Jake" Mum's tone was enthusiastic "Isn't it nice Nessie?"

"Oh joy!" I said sarcastically, still looking out the window.

The car was silent again. Then the air was suddenly with a jazz number. Am sure dad just turned the radio on.

The music breezed in and I welcomed it. I hadn't listen to music for a while and I had missed it. It felt good and filled my soul in a way.

It was another ten minutes, with dad's frantic driving before we got to the Pierre Hotel.

Dad gave the valet the key to park the car and held my mum's hand, as they walked through the entrance.

Jacob and I were behind them. His arm next to me was kind of stiff, as if waiting for me to take it. _Yea, keep the dreams on, buddy!_

The ball room was breathtaking. Crystal chandeliers, a life orchestra, flowing champagne and wine.

Everybody and everything was just sparkling, with the scents of expensive perfumes hanging in the air.

All the women were wearing pretty evening gowns and the men in tuxes with either ties of bows.

People were sitting or standing together in groups, greeting each other with hand shakes, hugs or cheek kisses, chatting and laughing, having a good time, and some were on the dancing floor, dancing slowly to the live music.

We were led to out table. A waiter held a chair for my mother first, and then me. The waiter placed four glasses for champagne and left our table.

The orchestra was now playing "What A Wonderful World" by "Louis Armstrong".

Dad had an arm around mum's chair, but nobody talked or even moved and the tension was building up bad.

I felt bad. This wasn't how I wanted to celebrate anything with my parents. I was making them miserable. _This is all Jacob's doing. It's his fault._

I looked around a bit. The air was so joyful, so happy. Everybody was laughing or smiling. But my inner air was down.

When the orchestra was done with the song. A man, with a deep voice, came over the mike saying that the orchestra will be taking a break and will return with the lovely someone, taking special requests.

Dad smiled widely and leaned down to whisper something in mum's ear, who glared at him as he got up and walked towards the orchestra.

I looked down at my hands and smiled lightly to myself. I knew exactly what he told mum and I was debating on which song he would be requesting.

I looked up to see mum looking so nervous, that she would be hyperventilating, if she was still human.

I giggled and it caught her attention. She smiled nervously at me.

"If I could kill your father, I probably will" She whined and rolled her eyes. I chuckled and heard a small giggle from beside me.

The music started again, playing the beginning notes of the music for the song "At Last". And then a woman's voice starting singing the words.

I smiled widely. I just knew that dad would want to dance to one of him and mum's wedding songs.

I saw my dad making his way back to our table. He extended a hand to mum, giving her his crocked smile and nodding his head towards the dance floor. My mum couldn't help but start smiling and give her hand to him.

I watched as they wrapped their arms around each other's waists, as if hugging. Mum resting her head over dad's chest. Dad resting his chin over her head. They started moving slowly, swaying in their own little world.

I have never seen love like my parents' love for one another. They never needed words, they just knew everything.

Half way through the song, dad started to move his hands up and down mum's back, rubbing it smoothly. He left one hand over her back and moved the other to her head, petting her hair. She looked up at him and smiled warmly, lovingly, with so much emotion and passion. He smiled back with as much love and leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Both of them closed their eyes, savouring the moment.

I felt jealous to an extent. Not of my parents, but from the experience. I wished someone would hold me like that. _I wish Jacob could hold me like that._

_Okay, you're not doing a really good job hating him right now Nessie. Wake up._

There was a throat clearance from behind me and I suddenly became aware of Jacob's presence.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes and found him looking at the table. He then reached forward and grabbed his champagne glass and gulped it down with one breath. He reached for my father's glass and did the same. He looked somehow nervous. He started battering his fingers on the table. It went on for a few seconds, before reaching for my mother's glass as well. But he didn't gulp it, he held it and took small sips.

I started to feel this vibe, this pull between me an Jacob. I was getting more aware of the situation. Me, Jacob, alone. The silence suddenly became a dead weight and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

The song started to change to "Come Away With Me" by "Norah Jones". I loved this song. It was the most soothing and warm song.

"Excuse me" I looked up to see warm pools of grey looking into mine. "Would you please honour me with this dance" He smiled and extended his hand towards me.

Before I could even respond, Jacob was beside the man.

"I am sorry, but she already gave me that honour" He grabbed my hand and starting tugging on it gently, pulling me to get up.

_Take it away. _He looked at me and gave me a weak smile. _Pull away God damn it!_

I got up and started to move my feet to wherever he was pulling me. _So this is it. One look, one smile and you're giving away?? How could you just let him pull you like that? Like you were some kind of a pet. He embaressed you back there. Leave Him NOW!_

We reached the dance floor and he started pulling me closer to him, still holding my hand in his, and snaking his other arm around my waist, with me resting my arm over his, my hand resting on his forearm. I shivered as I felt his warm hand lay on my bare skin.

_God you are whipped!_

We started moving slowly, dancing and turning in every direction. There were other couples dancing. But I couldn't have cared less. I couldn't stop starting at him. I couldn't stop the way I was feeling with him looking into my eyes, with all those emotions I never knew about swimming in them.

He started moving me closer, pulling me flush against his body. Our entwined hands moving closer to out bodies, resting over his chest.

_I love you. _I found myself telling him the words in my head. _Just say it!_

But I couldn't. I could only look at him with all the love that I knew I was capable of. I had missed him so much.

I suddenly felt safe. I felt at home. He was my sanctuary and I was scared that he would just leave me again. Because I knew I couldn't survive.

I hadn't even known that I was tearing up, until he rested the hand he was holding on his chest and moved his hand to cup my cheek with it, erasing the tears with his thumb.

I tore my eyes away from him and felt the sudden needs to be out of his arms. I needed answers. And I needed them now.

I pushed against him, moving out of his embrace.

"Nessie?" He was giving me a sad questioning look.

"We need to talk, Jacob" I noticed a couple of glass double doors and led out to a terrace.

I started moving towards them and felt him move behind me.

The terrace was empty. I walked until I reached the stone railings. The moon was full and the night was beautiful.

I heard Jacob's steps stop a couple of feet away from me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as a light breeze passed my face.

"I just wanna know why" I said in a composed voice, without facing him.

I heard him inhale and exhale loudly.

"I thought…I…" He took another breath "I thought you needed your space Renesmee"

I felt my breath start to elevate. I was getting angry again.

I spun around to look at him "Did I ask you for space Jacob" I said in a loud voice "Did I ever imply that I needed time away?" I was feeling frustrated now.

"God you always do that. You always think and never listen" I took a couple of steps towards him "You have no idea what the hell I want or what I need" I took another step. He looked at the floor.

"And here I was thinking that you even care" He looked up at me with obvious anger in his eyes. He took the last step and we now standing right in front of each other.

"Don't you dare tell me I don't care" I said through clenched teeth.

"You don't" I said in a chocked voice "If you did, you wouldn't have ignored me when I needed you so much. You wouldn't have hurt me like that"

His expression started to soften "There is no one in this world that I care more about"

I shook my head and felt the tears again "You're such a liar" I looked back in his eyes and the anger was building up in them.

I felt his hand circle my forearm with a firm grip and pull me towards him "You want to know how much I care, I'll show you how much" His tone was angry and frustrated.

And that's when I felt it. His lips, over mine. Forceful and demanding. The feelings and emotions that were running through me were incredible. I have never felt anything even close to the rush I felt.

His lips started moving, slower, more gently. And my body couldn't help but respond to him. My hands found their way around his neck. His hand left my forearm now and his arms were engulfing me to him.

We both parted our lips at the same time and the kiss started to deepen. Out lips moved together, yielding with each other.

I could taste him, and he was divine. Not even the taste of human blood could compare. His scent and his warmth was all over me, all around me.

His hands moved up my back and over my shoulders and neck to cup my face and pull it closer to his. His lips got more gentle now, more loving that anything else, but still urgent and wanting more. And I wanted the same, I wanted so much more.

I never felt this much love before. And now that I felt it, I was not ready to ever let it go.

I suddenly felt whole.

In this exact moment, I knew it, I was sure of it.

Jacob owned me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: yes, i admit it, am the ultimate bitch of the cetuary....I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! but everything has been so CRAAAZY! and i was having the most frustrating case of writer's block.**

**i would like to thank everybody who read the last chapter and is still supporting this fictionand will still be coming back to read it. special thanks to _chloemai-nessie_, _ravennalovejacob:)_, _chocolatelover96_, _onetreefan_,_ KeiokoSumi_, , _Chara Jolly_, _twilightpottergirl1611_, _cmaus _for the amazing reviews that all of you left me.**

**as it is obvious, this chapter has been very hard for me to write. i don't know why, but things just didn't seem to flow and smoothly in it as before. it was a point between before and after and it was hard to describe it. plus that it is kinda short.**

**i have also added an outtake from Jacob's point of veiw. it is a little long and can get very narative, but i think it will add alot to the story and explain Jacob's feelings on things. i hope that you like it.**

**am sorry again for taking so long and hopfully it would not take me thing long again to update. please leave some reviews, tell me what you think, cause it really has been frustrating. but am still going on**

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**Chapter Nine**

The kiss started to slow and fade out. Our foreheads connected together as we were both panting. Jacob leaned and brushed his parted lips against mine.

"I missed you so much Nessie" I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against his. I could still feel his breath on me.

"Jacob…" I moved my hands from around his neck to cup his face and pulled my face away from his to look in his eyes "Jacob…Jacob I…" _I love you_.

I couldn't say it out loud. Even thought I could feel it all over his body and see it in his eyes, but I was so scared that he wouldn't say it back, or maybe that he wasn't ready for it yet.

"What is it? You know you can tell me anything honey" I felt a shiver run down my spin when he called me that. I could see the eagerness and anticipation, mixed with fear and desperation dripping from his eyes.

Just as I was going to speak "Renesmee" My father's voice snapped me out of my daze, getting me back to reality. Jacob suddenly removed his arms from around me and moved two steps back, breaking my grip over him "We're leaving. Come on let's go"

I started to make my way back inside with Jacob right behind me. My parents were standing by the table waiting for us, once they noticed us heading their way, dad put his hand over mum's back and started heading for the main entrance, with Jacob and I on their tail.

Jacob was back to the stiff posture he had on in the beginning of the night. And I was going into shock. The events of the evening playing in my head over and over again.

This was all so new and confusing. I have known Jacob all of my life. We didn't grow up together, he participated in raising me up. He is a part of who I am right now. Our relationship evolved with me growing up. He was my brother, then he became my best friend. He knows as much as my own father knows about me.

I can't fall in love with Jacob. This is obviously some sort of an adolescence crush. And he…he doesn't, he can't possibly love me, not in that way anyway. Not possible, am his little sister. And that kiss…the kiss was nothing more than a mistake, a product due to the heat of the moment.

The drive home was quite. I kept on looking outside from my window trying to calm down my frantic heart. And I could hear Jacob's heart racing faster than usual as well. I wish I could just borrow my father's talent. right now. I would give anything to know what Jacob is thinking about right now.

Once we got home, I went straight to my bedroom. The movement outside started to scatter, everybody to their rooms.

I wanted to get into bed quickly and turn the light off. I was scared that mum, or God forbid, my dad would want to come and talk or something.

So in a matter of minutes, I was through my nightly routines and in my warm bed. I closed my eyes and waited for five minutes for sleep to come. When this didn't work, I just gave up and laid in bed staring at the ceiling.

Time flew and my mind kept on wondering. I did not know how much time passed, but then I heard my parents' door open and heavy footsteps coming down the hall towards my room. _Father_. But it didn't stop at my door. It stoped at the room next to me. _Jacob's_.

There was one knock and then the door opens and both men walk down the rest of the hall. I heard the front door open and close and dad's Volvo turn on and speed off. _What the hell is going on?!_

I slipped out of bed and went to my parents' room. Mum was sitting on the window seat, reading. She was so engrossed in the book that she didn't hear me get in. However when the floor creaked a little bit, her head shot up.

"Mum?"

"Honey, what are you doing out of bed?" She sounded curious.

"I couldn't sleep" I looked at the floor for a second "Where's…Where did dad and Jacob go?"

"Jacob wanted to phase so that he could catch Seth and make sure everything is alright"

"Now??"

"Yea, Seth has the night shift or something" She gave a sweet smile.

"Couldn't he have just like called him on the phone in the morning?" That made more sense.

"I don't know baby. He said he wanted to and your dad said he'd take him"

I nodded "Am gonna go back to bed, maybe I'll sleep"

"Alright sweetie. Goodnight"

"Night mother" I walked to her and placed a kiss on her cheek.

I started making my way to my room, when Jacob's scent hit me. I noticed his door was open. I felt idiotic for doing this, but I did it anyways.

I went in closed the door behind me and flicked the light on. I rested my back on the door behind me, taking in how the room looks.

Jacob's clothes were all over the place. Shoes, socks were on the bed. His dress shirt and pants discarded on the floor. The suit jacket was on a hanger hanged on the top drawer of the opened dresser. There was an open duffle bag on the bed edge, with different clothing items hanging out. It was pretty comical and I couldn't help the small chuckles.

This was so Jacob. So crazy and spontaneous. I noticed the emerald tie that he was wearing, folded neatly and sitting on his nightstand. I smiled to myself.

I started making my way into the room and towards the bed. His shoes on the bed caught my eye again and I giggle a little. He is such a dork.

I pushed them with the socks down to the floor. I noticed behind the duffle bag his iPod and a photo album. I laid mid-bed and pulled them to me.

I plugged the ear pieces and opened the iPod and he was listening to _Sunday Morning _for _Maroon 5_. It was so unlike Jacob to listen to this genre of music. He was more of a rock person. _That's one of my favourites._

I opened the photo album and found the first picture that was ever take for me. I was cradled in Jacob's arms and I looked a couple of weeks old. He was looking at me, with one of my hands on his face and I was asleep. He had the most peaceful smile watching my dreams.

I smiled so widely. Seeing Jacob like that. The way he held me, the way he looked and smiled at me. It was breathtaking. But as I looked closely, I saw the pure affection and love he had for me. But not the kind of love that I thought might be. He loved me like an older brother.

_Well, of course you idiot. He looks or feels for you anything that is an atom more than brotherly feelings and Edward and the gang would have eaten him alive. He's not a pervert!!!_

I started flipping through the pages with the music playing. There were a lot of pictures of me during different age stages, but mostly between me looking four and eight. That cute stage. Of course, I was being able to talk fluently even before the incident with the Volturi, and I was mature beyond my age. But the human in me was still a child, with weird whims and the cutest reaction. I can defiantly say that I was one of those cute kids.

There was a picture of me looking four and I was wearing a pull with navy and baby blue strips. We were down in La Push and spending time at the Uley's house. I was with Claire and we decided to make creepy faces at the camera. I had a finger from each hand hocked up in my mouth, holding my mouth wide and trying to smile.

There were three picture of me looking seven. I was wearing a sleeveless pink bottom down dress and had huge thick white sunglasses, I think they were Alice's. It was a hot summer day and I asked Jacob to take me for some ice cream. I remember that dad didn't really want me to go. I never knew why. But mum somehow persuaded him to let Jake take me. I got a vanilla cone with extra sprinkles and Jacob got vanilla with caramel topping. Once I stared eating, Jacob decided I looked too adorable for him to miss taking a couple of shots of me. So he went and grabbed his camera from the car and took a picture of me licking my ice cream and another one close up to my face with the cone taking half of the picture. I don't know what really happened, but then Jacob's ice cream ball fell from the cone all over his shirt, with the caramel dropping all over him. That's when I started laughing out loud and holding the cone in front of me. That was the third picture of the event.

I was smiling hugely at the things I was seeing. I was getting back all of those memories of home and all the things I used to do as a child. And how Jacob was responsible of almost, if not all those memories. I don't think I even have a copy of those.

There was a picture of me with Kim's cat. God I remember that it smelled nice and I was holding it too tight that I think I was hurting it and it was trying to flee from my grip. My teeth were beared like the predator I am and then a terrified Kim begged a cracking Jacob to get me away from the cat before I ate it. I think it was her mother's and that's why she loved it so much.

There were a couple of pictures of me during my _Ariel; the little mermaid _phase, wearing a mermaid customer and holding that red crab, Sebastian.

I found some shots of me with different candy, like candy cane, a huge lollipop, Smarties, M&Ms, Skittles, a vast amount of chocolate and one with me blowing a huge balloon with my bubble gum.

That last picture of me as a child, was one of me sleeping with my thumb in my mouth. It was the night we won over the Volturi. The night our lives started peacefully forever.

The next group of photos were of me during my teen stages and once I stopped growing. There were different pictures of me with different members of my family and the pack. I had pictures with Charlie, Billy and Sue. During major holidays like Christmas and Halloween. There were pictures at bon fires, birthdays and weddings. And I had a lot of pictures with Jacob.

The last picture in the album was of me and Jacob. It was a couple of months ago, during Christmas. I was sitting in his lap and his arms were around me. I was looking at the camera and smiling widely. But Jacob was looking at me. But it wasn't the same look he gave me in the very first picture I saw. It had so much more passion. He was looking at me like I would disappear if he looked away for a second. And he had that same peaceful smile on his face, like everything he ever wanted was right there with him. He looked content and happy. And I looked oblivious to how he was starting at me.

* * *

**Outtake One - Jacob's Point Of View**

I sat on the bed flipping through Ness's photos and smiling like the idiot that I am. I still couldn't believe that fate would give me something as beautiful as she is.

She was perfect is every single way. Every move, word, breath that came out of her. And I did not deserve her. But being the selfish bastard that I am, I couldn't just let her go. I love her. I love her with everything that is in me.

Six months ago, Nessie was my best friend. She was the only person that I could really talk to. She was always there for me to support me and help me get through things. But then, things started to change. She was different. Her voice and the way she talked, started to affect me differently.

And then when I saw her last Christmas, she was different. It's like she changed and I was seeing her in this different light. She wasn't just my little sister or best friend, she was a woman I wanted to share my life with.

When Nessie started growing boobs and having curves, it didn't hit me at all. She started getting her period and being hormonal and emotional and I was the person she came to when she needed comfort. She was my little sister then and it's like I never noticed. Edward was very pleased.

But Edward was not the least bit pleased during Christmas. It was like…WOW. I couldn't stop starting at her. She was so beautiful that night. She had always been, but it was so different. It was like seeing her for the first time. I was falling in love with everything she did. The way she moved her hands when she was talking. The way her eyes twinkled when she was seeing people's reactions towards her gifts. And the way she looked at me.

She probably was looking at me the same way she looked at me since she was a day old. And I was the pervert.

Four years ago when Nessie left with her parents for New York, yes, it was hard and it wasn't easy letting her go and not being able to see her everyday. But when she left for her last semester after winter break, it was devastating. It hit me so hard. I felt like my heart was being yanked out of it's place.

Talking to her everyday kept me somehow sane. I couldn't help myself when I told her that I loved her or that I missed her. And it hurt that I couldn't tell her how I meant them. Everything I said to her, I wanted to tell the woman I loved, not just my best friend.

When she used to talk about boys approaching her at school, flirting with her or asking her out. I got protective and in full brother mood. I would warn her and try to make sure she is okay. However, when she started to tell me about that…that _asshole_, who asked her to prom, I…I…Well, let's just say that once the call ended I was out of my clothes and running wolf towards Canada.

She was asking me for advice on how to deal with him. I didn't know what to say or do. I simply didn't want her to deal or be near him at all.

And when she asked me what I thought when one of her friends asked her, I told her she can do whatever she wanted. It was eating me up on the inside and in the end I couldn't take it anymore and told her to go with the guy only if she trusts him and stuff.

Nessie was a free agent. I couldn't as well just tell her what to do. That's when I decided that maybe some time away from her would give her free space to act independently on herself instead on me. I wanted her to choose what would make her happy. Even if it killed me.

When Nessie was born, Edward made a deal with me, that I could only be or tell Nessie about the imprint and my feelings for her if she choose to be with me first. I couldn't breath without hearing her voice knowing what was going on with her and what he choice was. She never made any attempts to contact me and that was suffocating me. All kinda of thoughts came to my mind. That she found someone who took her mind of me. That she never really wanted me in her life and took the chance of me not contacting her and moving on with her life.

My feelings and emotions were aching and the pull I felt towards her was at it's full force.

I called Edward and told him our deal was off and that I had to tell her. He threatened that he would take her away from me. He asked me to be patient and wait for her and that she was having a lot going on with her.

And I did what he asked. I went wolf for the rest of the week. Running, just running away from everything. I didn't get any news on her and it caused me excruciating pain.

When Edward called Thursday morning, dad got the call and told Seth to phase and tell me that I was leaving for New York the next day.

All the longing in the world crashed over me and I felt the need to see her and hear her voice nagging over me.

And when I finally saw her, again, it had been like it was the very first time I laid eyes on her. She was beautiful, beyond beautiful. I couldn't even find the words in my head to describe how she made me feel and what she was to me. I felt alive again. She was saving me.

But then I noticed it, the anger and frustrating, the slight hate that was radiating over her body. Slapping me didn't hurt me physically but it made the nagging pain come again, and I was feeling how hurt she was because of me.

I didn't know what to do and how to make it better for her. I would rather die a thousand times that have her cry or hurt like that. And I knew I was an idiot for trying to keep myself from her. I felt the need she had for me just as much as I needed her.

There was a small knock on the door and Edward came in. He looked at me and motioned with his head towards the hall. I knew this was coming. I got up and put some shoes on and followed him outside towards his car.

The drive was silent and tensed and I saw him gripping at the steering wheel so hard and it could have cracked. I didn't know where our destination was. But we weren't heading towards the city, we were going towards a more forested area.

_God, am dead! Am not going to even tell her I loved her yet!_

Edward growled so quietly that if I didn't have super hearing I wouldn't have heard it.

Finally the car stopped and Edward got out. I sighed slowly and followed him. He kept on walking, human speed for a couple of minutes until he stopped.

"What were you trying to prove by kissing her without her permission" His voice was tense, hard and full of anger.

"She didn't exactly scream for me to stop or pushed me away" I tried to stay calm "She wanted this as much as I did"

I was suddenly shoved backwards until my back hit a tree trunk to powerfully and it cracked under the force of the impact.

"I could kill you, you son of a bitch" He threatened through gritted teeth "How dare you touch my daughter?"

"How dare you lie to me?" I yelled at him "You told me this was the best. That she needed time and look how that turned out. She looked like a zombie" I didn't realise I was crying until I felt the tears on my cheeks "She thought I didn't care about her. How could you do that to her? To me? Do you realise what the fuck I have been through, how it felt to be away from her? Oh wait, you first handily know what it's like to be away from someone you can't live without. When you left _your wife for her own good_. And I had to pick up the pieces that was Bella"

He picked me up so fast and throw me at some trees that I actually went through. I landed on the ground with a loud thud and didn't even get to breath before I felt a hit in my stomach and then another one on my ribs. I was in agony from the physical pain I was being put through. But it took everything in me not to fight back or phase, because I knew if I hurt him, my chance of even talking to Renesmee again would be doomed.

"You know why I left! You know I only did it because I loved her more than my own damn existence. I left so that she can have the life that she deserves, without me constantly being a threat to her! I left because I wouldn't have lived with myself if I had hurt her" His voice was like a roar "But yes, wasn't that so convenient for you! You were able to make your move since I was finally out of the way" He said sarcastically.

"How could you! You know I only felt this way about Bella because Renesmee was a part of her. She was yours all along. Nothing she or I have done or could have done would have changed that. You were made for her just as much as I was made for Renesmee. She was destined for you so that Renesmee would be for me"

There was sudden silence all around me. I looked around me to find Edward sitting against a tree with his hands in his hair tugging strongly. I ignored the roaring pain and moved to sit up.

"Am begging you. Please. Don't push me away from her anymore. I will die without her" My voice was hoarse and dripping pain and my eyes welled with tears replacing the ones falling already.

He stood up silently and started walking back towards the place we came from. I sat there for a while trying to assess the degree of my injuries.

_Broken ribs. Dislocated shoulder. Broken leg. Broken cheek bone. And a hell lot of bruising._

The bruises will be gone by morning. I just needed to get back and have Bella help me with the broken bones.

I used a trunk to help me carry my weight and stood up, limping after Edward's scent. _God I hope he didn't leave me here._

I reached the car after, God only knows how long, and he was in it. Just sitting there and staring into nothing.

I got in and he started the car and speeded away towards their home. Once we got there he got out and left me in the car. _So much for being a gentleman!_

I limped inside and heard Bella interrogating him about where we went. I got to my room and opened the door to find the light on and an angle sleeping in my bed.

Renesmee was laying on the bed, with my iPod in the ears, her head resting on the opened photo album I was looking at before I left with Edward and he right hand resting on the very last picture in it.

I smiled idiotically and started moving towards her.

"Oh my God! Jacob!" Bella's frantic whispers were behind me "Let me get -" She stopped mid sentence when she noticed Renesmee in my bed. "I'll carry her to her room and get the -"

"No, I'll carry her" I looked at her pleadingly and she just nodded.

I walked towards the bed and bent down careful to not increase any injuries. The pain was almost not there. I slipped an arm under Renesmee's head and one under her knees and got up.

She was so light and I was in heaven. Having her this close to me and breathing in her scent was healing.

I passed by a very worried Bella and placed _my _Renesmee gently in her bed once we reached it. I pulled the covers over her.

"Jacob" She whispered my name so gently. I felt my heart swell and flutter.

I moved my palm to cup her soft cheek "I am here now. Am not going anywhere" I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to her forehead lightly "I love you so much Nessie"


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: ****I know...am sorry for taking so much time, but I have been having such a hard time for a while...I hope you guys can forgive me...**

**I would like to thank everybody who read this story and is supporting it. A special thank you for all thoes who reviewed, _Chara Jolly_, _kiwi superhero_, _TaylorLautner4Life11_, and . Thank you guys so much.**

**I would like so announce that this story will be done in a couple of chapters. I am still not sure how much more, but am guessing that it won't take more than 3 chapters. And then it'll be off to a sequal. **

**I am sorry again. I do not own Twilight, or any of it's characters.**

**

* * *

****Chapter Ten**

I woke up with a stupid grin plastered on my face. The first thing I smelled was cinnamon. It was all over the room. Cinnamon meant rolls and there was only one person who could make them smell this good.

_My God, they're here!_

I quickly got out of bed and ran barefoot to the door, not really caring that I was in my pajamas or that my hair must be a mess. I ran down the hall and entered the first room I could find and there was Emmett. Before he could even turn around, I jumped up his back locking my arms and legs around him, burying my face in his neck and laughing uncontrollably.

"Chipmunk!" He was laughing with me and I looked over his shoulders to see Jasper sitting on the couch and laughing as well.

"I missed you, I missed you all so much" I couldn't stop smiling.

I jumped off his back and he turned around and gave me a proper bear hug. When he let me go, Jasper was right behind me grabbing me in a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It's good to see you again" He said with a soft smiled. I hugged him again.

"I didn't realize I missed you so much until now. Am so glad we're finally going home"

A loud squeak came from behind me. I turned around and I was instantly in Alice's arms. We were both swaying from left to right. I didn't realize I had closed my eyes, until I opened them again and there was Rosalie, standing in the door way, smiling sweetly. I smiled back and gave Alice a crushing kiss on the cheek and let go. I went to Rosalie and she pulled me in her arms gently

"I missed you so much Nessa" She said.

"Same here. Is Ma doing the rolls?" I asked laughing.

"Yes, she's in the kitchen, waiting for you" Alice said.

Rosalie let go of me and I walked the short distance to the kitchen to see the caramel curls that are Esme. She turned to look at me and opened her arms for me to walk right in.

"My favorite granddaughter" I laughed loudly.

"Am your only granddaughter" Everyone from the living room was in the kitchen now.

"Doesn't mean you can't be my favorite" Esme pointed out.

"You made me cinnamon rolls. I missed them so much. I wouldn't let dad do them for me. He never does them like you. And that is why am your favorite grandmother" We all laughed "Where's Pa? He with mum and dad?"

"Yes sweetheart. They'll all in Jacob's room" Esme answered me.

_Jacob. _It kind of hit me that he was here last night. _Still is._ I remembered going into his room and looking through that album. Though I don't remember going to my room and sleeping in my bed. The thought of Jacob finding me in his bed and carrying me to mine gave me chills all over my body.

I gave a shaky laugh "Can't believe Jacob isn't here already stuffing everything we have" Emmett chuckled and Esme looked behind my shoulder quickly then back to me. She smiled and went back to the rolls.

I turned around to face the rest of them "What's going on?"

"Nothing honey" Esme put a hand on one shoulder showing me off to the counter and placing a plate with rolls in the middle "Sit down and start eating and they all will be here in a few minutes"

I pulled the fork and started cutting into the rolls and eating.

"I thought you guys wouldn't be able to make it"

"Yes well, we wouldn't have missed it for the world" Grandma kissed my cheek while I was chewing.

Rosalie got out an orange juice carton and poured some for me.

"Are you having company here in a while?" Alice asked me.

"Yeah! Oh my God, I totally forgot, my friends are coming over to practice for my piece in…." I grabbed Emmett's left hand and turned it to see the watch "Shit! Twenty minutes"

"Okay! We got to go" She started pulling Jasper to the front door "Am sorry Nessie. We'll see you later tonight"

"Well, that is better" Emmett said "Didn't want to get rid of one of your buddies, did you Ness?" He asked with a smirk.

"My God, I have to get ready" I started shoving my breakfast down my throat "Shower, clothes. And God, the study - "

"Nessie, please" Rosalie laughed "Everything is taken care off. Alice laid something out for you and your dad took care of the study. Just relax and enjoy your breakfast"

I smiled and went back to eating.

"Holly mother of…" Came from down the hall.

"Is that Jacob?" I got up quickly.

"Nessie, he is fine" Rosalie tried to reason but I didn't give it a second thought. With inhuman speed I was in Jacob's room. Both my hands flew to cover my mouth from what I was looking at.

Jacob was sitting up on the bed, mum on his right holding him by the shoulders, while grandpa Carlisle holding his face from one side and moving his other hand over his left cheek as if smoothing it. Jacob groaned.

Everybody stopped once I was in the room. I looked Jacob over. He had a brace over his right shoulder and left leg, and right under his pecks was tied up tight. Mum and Carlisle went back to what they were doing before. My feet started moving on their own record to him. I needed to be with him. I had to touch him.

I felt two hands on my shoulders stopping me "You can't go to him now Renesmee. Wait until Carlisle is done"

"Let her Edward, please" Jacob broke dad off "You're done, ain't you doc?"

"You need to be so very still Jacob, so I would be able to set it straight, so it can heal right. You don't want me to break it again, do you?"

"What…When did this happen?" I was barely focusing on what I was saying. My Jacob was hurt.

"When were out in the woods last night" Dad answered me still holding me back. I turned around to face him fully. They were both out alone. Nobody was with them. And if Jacob was the one injured then…_D-Dad…_

"What happened?" I tried to hide the anger and betrayal from my tone. How could my father….

"Edward saved my life Ness" I turned around to look at Jacob cutting into my fuming mind "Nomad vampire was passing by. Your dad was in the car and I wasn't phased yet. It took me by surprise just before I got to phase. I couldn't even think. And there was no way I was able to phase properly after the first blow. It would have been a lot worse if Edward had not heard my thoughts" Jacob ended with a smile full of gratitude.

He was lying to me. Besides the fact that Jacob is one of the strongest people that I know of, I know that he could take down three vampires at a time and something like a broken bone has never stopped him from phasing and fighting back. It was just plainly obvious that my dad did this to him.

Jacob groaned loudly as Carlisle removed his hand from his face and started removing his gloves.

"That should do it right. In a couple of hours your cheek will be healed properly. And by tomorrow or maximum Monday, all your bones will be restored. You'll be as good as new Jacob" Carlisle smiled. Mom had let go of Jacob and was helping him lean back against the back of the bed, adjusting some pillows for him to be more comfortable.

"Thank you Carlisle. I appreciate it as always" Jacob smiled widely.

"I didn't do much of it. Bella here had done most of it by the time I came. I just made sure everything was nicely tied up"

"Mom" I looked at her is surprise and pride, as well as every eye was on her. She chuckled and looked down and I am sure she is blushing internally and hating the attention.

After Jacob was settled in, mum moved around from the bed and started walking towards us.

"Momma" I smiled widely and she kissed my cheek.

"Morning baby" She looked at me gently "Am gonna get Jacob his breakfast. Did you eat?" She asked me as she started to move again, taking my dad's hand in hers.

"Yeah, am done. Thanks _madre_" I giggled as she rolled her eyes and pulled my dad out of the room.

Carlisle was moving towards me when I realized I hadn't hugged him yet.

"Pa" I smiled gently and he moved his arms around me to him.

"I missed you immensely Renesmee" He pulled back and planted a gentle kiss to my forehead.

"I missed you as much, grandfather" I kissed both his cheeks.

"Jacob is still not fully recovered. Please try not to move him much" I nodded and he smiled. He looked around at Jacob "If you need anything Jacob, I am going to be outside"

"Thanks doc" Jacob called after his as he nodded and walked out the room.

It sank in that I was finally alone with Jacob. _Define alone…_I was fidgeting with my fingers and looking at the floor, blushing as I felt Jacob's staring at me.

"Ness-"

"Am sorry" I looked up at him "Am sorry about what I said last night. It was- "

"Nessie stop- "

"No Jacob, just let me finish" I pleaded with him "It was obnoxious and not true. I was just so tired and stressed out; the past week has been pretty bad for me. And I didn't give you a chance to explain, instead I made those crude assumptions about you not caring, rather than just realizing that you do have a life outside of me and that not everything is about me-"

"Nessie don't- " He was almost begging me.

"Please, just forgive me" I found myself staring right at him. How and when did my feet move me so that I was sitting down on his left side, staring right at him, was beyond me.

He breathed out loudly "Apology not accepted" He said seriously.

A breath escaped me and I felt myself suddenly feeling disoriented, my eyes disconnecting from his. It was a punch to my figurative gut. It suddenly felt as if he just gave up on me.

When I looked back up, he was smiling. The jerk was actually smiling at me. _What the_…

"You are kidding me!" I jumped off the bed, raising my hands above my head in disbelief. He was laughing full blown by now. It was a prayer to my ears and I felt alive again hearing his laugh.

"Here I am pouring my heart out to you and you're trying to be funny"

"No, am just trying to tell you that you are an idiot" He was just smiling widely.

"What are you talking about" I crossed my hands over my chest and rested on the dresser behind me.

"I am not accepting an apology from you because there is nothing for you to apologize about Ness"

He was being serious again, and this time for real.

"Yes Jacob, there is" I tried to justify "That was not how you deserved to be treated"

"Actually, this is exactly how you are supposed to treat me. If there is anyone who should be apologizing here Ness, it is me" He rubbed the back of his neck with his good hand then turned and looked me in the eye "There was no excuse to what happened last week. Nothing could ever justify how _I _treated you. You are everything to me Ness, everything _does _revolve around you. I wish there were words that could describe how much I care about you…"

_Oh my God…_

"You're…You're my best friend Nessie"

It's like feeling a huge stone being dropped into my stomach. I don't know why I had such a high expectation that maybe; just maybe Jacob would finally confess his feelings for me. _What an idiot_…

"I know Jake" I sighed and moved towards the bed, putting on knee on the mattress to get me closer to him "You're my best friend too" I leaned down and hesitantly pressed my lips to his forehead. I closed my eyes and tried to take as much of his unique sent in; his skin and hair. I wanted so badly to just hug him so tight and savor him forever. The memory of his soft, warm lips on mine was still fresh in my mind that I couldn't help but crave them right now.

There was a knock on the door, and I stood up as the door opened and grandma came in with a tray, carrying several plates, with a variety of foods. She smiled at me and then Jacob.

"Oh Esme, this is just too much" Jacob said in his charming voice.

"Nonsense Jacob. You need your strength of course. And am sure you didn't eat much last night as it is" She smiled reassuringly.

"Well, if you insist"

"Yes I do" She patted his right shoulder so gently after placing the tray beside him.

"Nessie, you have five minutes and your peers will be here" Dad's voice came from the living room, snapping me out of the moment and reminding me of what needed to be done.

"I have to get dressed" I said to both of them "We'll talk later, yea?" I turned to Jacob. He looked as if wanting to stop me and beg me to stay with him, but restrained himself.

"Sure, sure" He gave me the smile that warmed my heart.

I had no time to shower, so I just washed my face and brushed my teeth. Regular jeans and a grey t-shirt, and a messy bun at the back of my head and I was ready.

The door bell rang and I went to get it. Everybody but Alice, Jasper and grandma, were in the living area sitting down in front of the television. It was the first time my parents would see who I practiced with, face-to-face in my dad's case. I had to remind myself that my _parents _were Carlisle and Esme. And that Edward and Bella, along with everybody else were my siblings.

"Hey Nessie" Sophie greeted me with a bright smile. She and Valarie had their violins in their cases and right behind them I could see Ryan and Justin, unloading Justin's drum set from his Van.

"Emmett" I called loudly, though am sure he would have heard if I had whispered it. Once he was at the door "Hey, could you help the guys get these stuff in the study"

"Sure" He smiled, and then turned to greet the girls, who were obviously surprised with how big he is "Hello"

He moved past them to where the boys were standing, introduced himself and shook their hands, while the girls came in. Each gave me a hug and the boys were moving in now behind Emmett with the drums to the rearranged study, giving me quick "Hi_"_s.

Grandpa and ma came out to greet everyone then "Mom, dad, these are Sophie and Valarie. You guys, there are my parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen"

"It's very nice to meet you" Valarie said.

"Pleasure is ours" Carlisle replied.

"Thank you so much for helping Nessie with her piece. It was really nice of you" Esme thanked them.

"It was nothing and we really enjoyed getting to know her" Valarie said.

The boys were coming out with Emmett. "Hey you guys these are my parents and you obviously met Emmett" Carlisle and Esme had turned around to face the two boys "These are Ryan and Justin" Emmett went inside the living room and sat on the couch next to Rosalie. I gestured for everyone to come by the doorway.

"And these are my brothers and sisters. Rosalie, Edward and Bella. And you guys, these are Sophie, Valarie, Ryan and Justin" Everybody nodded and said a soft "Hi".

"We'll be in the study" I said to Esme and motioned for everyone to follow me.

I felt the ache to see Jacob, as we passed his door. Once I led everybody in the room and told them to settle in, I walked out back to Jacob's room. I gave a small knock and opened the door. The room was dark, the curtains were shut and the AC was on. I was about to close the door when he called me.

"Ness"

"Yeah, sorry I woke you up. I didn't know you were asleep" I could see his figure in the dark, striating himself on the bed. He reached to his nightstand lamp and switched it on. I felt that as invitation enough to go in. I sat down facing him on the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"My cheek is almost healed. So is my shoulder. Ribs in a few hours" Jacob said.

"That's good" I started fidgeting. I wanted to talk about earlier, about why he lied to me about what really happened with him. I wanted to talk about last night's kiss. "So…"

"I heard your friends walking down the hall. Are you all ready for tomorrow night?" He was trying to make up conversation. I decided to just get it out.

"Jacob, why did you lie to me earlier?"

"What are you talking about" He chuckled nervously.

"You know exactly. You seriously can't expect me to believe that crap about a nomad vampire beating you up" I was starting to feel anger build up. I took a deep breath to calm myself "Jacob I personally know that even with broken bones, you are able to phase and fight" He was looking down at his legs.

"Did dad do this?" I asked bluntly. I was aware that everybody heard me in the living room. He sighed. "He did, didn't he?"

"Nessie, listen it was a misunderstanding. We both said things we regret" He explained.

"You could have said that earlier. Why lie to me?"

"I just didn't want you upset with him, I guess"

"Damn straight am upset Jacob. But am more upset you felt like I couldn't handle it" I was feeling frustrated with him.

"I'm sorry, Nessie" He apologized looking me in the eye. I broke his stare and shifted my sight to the drawn curtains. I felt his hand softly cupping my cheek and turning me to him. He has leaned away from the headboard and his face was close to mine. "I really am sorry, Ness. I never meant to upset or hurt you. Please forgive me"

I couldn't remove my eyes from his, from all the sincerity dripping out of them. His eyes were dark and warm. I was officially melting on the inside. I averted my eyes from his for a second, but couldn't stay away. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"I know. I forgive you Jake"

"I love you Ness, I really do" He started leaning towards me, his face inching closer to mine. I closed my eyes, breathed him in and started savoring this moment. I felt his lips, kissing my cheek gently, lingering on my skin.

_I'm in love with you._


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: ****Hey everybody, it's been such a long time, I know, but I have been going though some tough times. My grandmother passed away and this has been affecting a lot of things in my life. There were a lot of things happening over here, a lot of decisions that I had to make about my life and career that took so mcuh time, physical and emotional effort, that at the end of some days I just wanted everything to stop.**

**Am sorry, it had been affecting my writings and I hope that this chapter is as good as you all expected. This chapter has been writen over such a long period of time, every part of it with me in a different mood. I had a different plan for this chapter, but as I sat and wrote, it just came out of me this way.**

**I want to thank each and every one of you guys tha read, support, add this story to favorite/alert lists, or add me as a writer. Thank you guys so much for your constand support and love for this story, I don't think i would have had the encentive to write anymore if it weren't for you guys. A very special thank to _britney_, _Sarahamanda_, _ScorpiusRoseLover_, _MauRob_, _EllieHasBigCityDream_, _TaylorLautner4Life11_, _Robmau _and _wonderful-sunset_. You guys ROCK!**

**So enough of me and on with the chapter. Hope you enjoy it.**

**I do not own twilight**

**

* * *

****Chapter Eleven**

Final practice went perfectly well, even with my mind drifting every once in a while. Grandma cooked us lunch and everybody fell in love with my _awesome beautiful mother_. And of course the day didn't pass by without Ryan and Justin trying to hit on Rosalie, even thought I told them, with no offence, that she was way out of their league.

After they were gone and Alice and Jasper came back, the family stared helping in the packing process. And of course, I had a beauty appointment in _Alice and Rosalie__'__s_ makeover beauty center. I got my hair trimmed and had a facial, manicure and pedicure, with a promise of an early morning for doing hair and makeup. Alice picked out my outfit, even thought it wouldn't really be seen under my graduation gown. She insisted that even if nobody saw it, I must always look my best. She means, maybe my graduation gown will accidentally catch fire or something.

I have been avoiding my dad all day long. I was upset with him and I just knew that if I had the chance to confront him I would. I did not want to fight. Jacob already lied to me once. And the fact that I wasn't happy with it didn't mean I didn't understand why Jacob actually did it. If he was scared that I would fight my father, then I would at least give him the satisfaction of pretending that our relationship is still intact. Didn't mean that I am fine with whatever my father did. What always came to my mind is who the hell gave my father the right to do that to Jacob?

Sleeping that night was restless. I only slept for a couple of hours and woke up before my alarm went off by a couple of hours. There was nobody home, my personal guess is that they all went hunting when I was asleep and didn't think I would be up now.

But once I listened carefully, I could hear his heartbeat, beating evenly. Jacob was still asleep. I knew I shouldn't do this, but I couldn't help myself. I felt myself being pulled to him, and it wasn't just on an emotional or a spiritual level, but a physical one as well. It was like I couldn't feel him this close to me and not want to see him and be near him.

I opened the door to him room and saw his figure lying on bed, motionless. I took a step in and the wooden floor under me gave a small squeak. _Shit_. I stopped dead and held my breath. I knew I was caught and that Jacob could definitely smell me and hear my racing heart. Hell, I am sure my dad could hear it from wherever he was hunting. After a few seconds I realized that his breathing and heart rate were still even. I breathed out a sigh of relief.

_This is the stupidest idea that you have ever had. What the hell are you thinking? Just leave now when you still could before this blows up in your face._

I walked the rest of the way to his bed side very slowly, making sure to hold my breath and make sure the floor beneath my feet is steady. When I reached his bed, I kneeled on the floor beside the bed, finding myself face to face with Jacob, who was sleeping on his side. His ribs are obviously all good now.

I gasped at how beautiful he looks at this very moment. I have seen Jacob asleep only a few times when I had gone to wake him up. And I had never waited to savor the moment of him looking so amazingly peaceful, always so rushed in the want of him being awake for the day activities.

I felt such longing for him like I have never felt before. I missed our days together at the beach, where we talked about everything and anything. I missed the days were I couldn't stand being around anybody but him, when I dropped everything for his comfort to me. I realized just how much I need him, just how much I want him in my life. I felt a rush of fear that Jacob would one day leave for any reason. Most likely for the need of a companion, who will be able to give him love, home and a family.

What would be of me when this happens? When I am not enough anymore? I was so dependent on him that I knew my life would fall apart if he wasn't in it, last week being evidence on this. But I was certain of one thing. I loved Jacob so much that I would let him go. I knew it was selfish of me to expect Jacob to be tied down to me for his whole life. I wouldn't hold him down from a normal life, from the joy of loving and being loved, even if it wasn't me loving him or being loved by him. I knew I wouldn't be enough for Jacob one day that he will seek something more outside of me. It was only the most normal thing to happen. But would I really be able to sit by and watch Jacob fall in love with someone else than wasn't me? The mere thought sent a course of pain down my whole body. But yes, I will and I would when the time comes.

_Snap the hell out of it. This isn't just about you. Stop being a whiny bitch. Stop being selfish and thinking of yourself. Stop doing this to yourself and thinking so damn much about something that isn't happening in the near future. Focus on him right now._

I leaned down and pressed a butterfly kiss over his forehead, ghosting my lips over his skin, from his forehead to his temple down his cheek, where I pressed them more firmly.

I wanted him. No that was not quite enough, I _need_ him. The strength of the emotions that were running through me at that moment frightened me. There were no words, nothing could ever compare to the height that my feelings were reaching. I couldn't even comprehend it myself.

I moved back to look at him again. I moved my fingertips over his face, feeling his skin and memorizing his features. It was as if this was the very first time I was seeing him. I couldn't stop myself. He just had to know how I felt.

_This is just so wrong on so many levels._

I cupped his cheek with my hand and closed my eyes.

_I love you Jacob. I love you so much that it hurts._

I was transferring to him not only my thoughts, but my emotions and how intense they were. Once I stared I couldn't stop. I showed him every memory I had of him. Snaps and pictured of our times together. Every time he told me he loved me or how much he missed me, and how much I wished it could mean more than what he really meant. I showed him what I wished we would be like. I showed him us on a bed spooning, him holding me so tight and burying his face in my hair and neck, like he couldn't get enough of me. I showed him how it would make me feel, the amazing feeling of him with me, this close. It wasn't sexual or erotic, but it was such an intimate image in my head. Something that would mean that we are finally together.

"Nessie…" He whispered my name so softly, the corners of his mouth turning upwards slightly. I froze, I thought he was awake, but his breathing and heart rate were still steady. I leaned back down and laid soft kisses on his cheek and the corner of his mouth, kissing his smile.

I moved my fingers through his hair and watched him sleep. I didn't know how I couldn't have seen him this way before, or felt about him the way I did. It was so sudden, but I guess all the years of us being friends were building it up to this.

He stirred a little, and then moved to lie on his back. I haven't noticed before that he was shirtless. I felt warmth spreading all over my body at the sight. I averted my eyes, embarrassed by me ogling him, but couldn't do that for long. I couldn't help but notice the remarkable colour of his skin, and the contrast between mine and his. He was healed completely by the end of last night. Grandpa said that that was the fastest Jacob had ever healed up before.

It was beautiful how his skin just flowed from his face down his neck and to his chest. I touched his newly reveled cheek and leaned down to kiss it as well.

The room was beginning to brighten up more as the morning sun was coming up. I heard the sound of the tires slowing down and turning into our driveway. I got up and gave Jacob one last kiss on his forehead and headed out the door, closing it quietly behind me.

The arrival of my family did not distract me from what was on my mind. Jacob. His laughter, his smile, his free spirit. Every time I think about the fact that he might just leave someday made my heart sink more.

I plastered a smile on my face all day. Graduation passed by and I didn't even feel anything. Everything was passing me by and I could only think about him. About what he meant to me, about how I felt that week we didn't talk to each other.

When Annie hugged me, I was snapped out of my Jacob-induced haze.

"We did it. We finally did it" Annie screamed over the commotion excitedly. I smiled wide at her. Even though I knew that I was probably never going to see Annie anymore, I didn't feel that longing I thought I would before. In my heart I knew there was going to be something else filling this void in me.

I was passed around for hugs from all my family members. And finally it was Jacob's turn. He smiled warmly at me "I am so proud of you". I sighed heavily like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders when he wrapped his arms around me.

I took pictures with almost all my class. We left quickly after because the senior show was only a couple of hours later. I called Justine and the others to make sure everyone was alright and ready and confirming the timing. He said they were all going to go together.

From the moment I set foot in the house, I was rushed to my room but Alice and Rosalie for preparations. Honestly if felt like I was getting married not playing the piano.

I got sent to the bathroom to freshen up. Alice had my dress ready and I was in it right away. I only had a couple of hours before I had to go to Carnegie Hall to prepare everything and make sure everyone is ready and instruments are going to be in right placement and so on and so forth.

Alice was doing her final touches when there was a small knock on the door. We all turned our heads as Jacob stepped into the room. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him. He was wearing a grey suit, that I am sure was Alice's work, with a white dress shirt and the green tie we got him.

Our eyes immediately locked together "Renesmee…" He sighed with a smile and broke our gaze for a moment, then returned his eyes to me "You look beautiful".

"Yes she does" Rosalie confirmed. She came to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek "Am gonna go get ready. Good luck tonight sweetie"

"Thank you Rose" I smiled with gratitude.

She walked to the door and eyed Jacob "You clean up nice Jacob. I almost did not recognize you. Too bad it can't really cover up your nasty smell. I seriously can't understand how your father lives with you"

"Rosalie, thank you. I am certain that even your beauty can't make up for your odor either. Am not sure how Emmett bears it" He said sarcastically with a smile. Rosalie growled at him and left the room.

Jacob chuckled to himself as he walked more into the room. The more close he got to me, the more I felt my breath increase. My heartbeat was elevating slowly with every step he took.

"Jacob, I must say you do look nice tonight" Alice complimented.

"You should be proud of yourself pixie. Thank for your help"

"Anytime Jacob" Alice turned to me "Alright honey, we're done and you're ready to go. Just make sure not to forget the clutch, it has your last minute stuff"

"Okay" I nodded. It registered in my mind that Alice was leaving the room, leaving me alone with Jacob. I was not so sure my body can handle being so close to him without breaking down.

She closed the door behind her. Jacob put his hands in his pants pockets looking awkwardly around the room walls. I got up and walked to stand in front of the full length mirror to see what Alice did with me. I gaped in shock at the reflection looking back at me. Alice had done it yet again. My hair was pulled back in a messy bun at the back of my head, with my long bangs at the side of my face. The dress looked amazing on me. It really was perfect for the occasion. And the peep-toes were just elegant. My make-up was simple and natural. I only had small dangly one-pearl earrings on me. I was glowing.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was catching as I smiled. I was nerves and excited about tonight. I looked at Jacob's reflection looking right into my eyes. I turned around and faced him. I let my hands run over the dress smoothing it out.

"How do I look?" I asked him.

"You look radiant. So grown up" He replied. I blushed and broke our gaze. It was hard for me to maintain his gaze for a long time. It felt like if I looked for so long, Jacob would be able to read right into my soul.

"Um…Nessie, I have something for you" When I looked up he had a jewelry rectangular box in his hand "I wanted to give it to you when you got back home and a graduation and welcome home present. But changed my mind and thought that it's better if I just give it…"

He was rambling. Jacob was nerves. Whatever was in that box is important to him and he was seeking approval. Without even seeing it, I was in love with it.

"Just…Here" He reached the box out to me. I took it from him, feeling the velvet under my skin.

"Thank you Jake"

"Come on, open it" He was eager.

I opened the box and gasped loudly. I looked up at Jacob and then back down at the most amazing piece of jewelry ever given to me.

"Do you like it?" He asked anxiously.

"Jacob…" It was merely a whisper. Inside the box was a golden bracelet, that's pieces were tied up together in golden knots and in the middle was a big oval pearl, and hock and loop at its ends.

"It's real gold, custom made. I designed it myself" I looked up at him. In this moment his face looked so young, he seemed so worried that it didn't please me enough. If only he knew.

"If you don't like it, we can…"

"Jacob" I interrupted him as a stray tear escaped my eye.

"What?"

"Shut up" I said with a smile. I closed the space between us quickly and threw my arms around his neck, pulling him to me. I felt his arms embrace me right away.

"It's so beautiful, Jacob" I whispered softly "Thank you. It's the prettiest thing I ever got"

"Not as beautiful as you. Nothing is ever worthy of you" He whispered back "But am glad you approve" He said as he started to pull away, but not take his arms away from me.

"I more than approve Jacob. I absolutely love it" I said looking into his eyes "Will you please help me put it on?" I asked as I handed him the now closed box.

It seemed so small in his big hands. And when he pulled out the bracelet, it seemed so delicate between his fingers and he treated it with such care. I reached out my wrist for him and he wrapped the golden wristlet around it. The feel of his touch set my skin on fire. I chocked on my breath when he raised my hand to him face and kissed my hand so gently.

I wanted to cry from frustration. I wanted to throw my arms around him and latch my lips to his. I want him to kiss me so passionately that it would literally take my breath away. What is this? What is he doing to me? This is not just a normal feeling or reaction to what he's done. Am craving him, am aching for him.

A knock on the door got me back to reality and Jacob let go of my hand. My father came in "We need to leave in order for you to make it on time, Renesmee" My father said emotionlessly. I sighed.

"Yes am ready" I moved around Jacob to get my clutch from the vanity.

I walked back to Jacob and kissed him on the cheek "Thank you" I said softly. He nodded and smiled.

The ride to Carnegie Hall was silent and tense. My father did not make any attempt to make any kind of conversation. He didn't demand any explanations or express his disappointment towards my thoughts of Jacob, which am sure were not very appropriate by my father's standards. But then there was also his episode with Jacob the day before yesterday. He did not make any offers to explain or even try to apologies for what he did. Jacob didn't seem to care, but I needed an explanation. I wanted to know what was bothering my father so much. I have never faced anything like this before. We have never argued or had a misunderstanding that was not solved and worked though at once. This was all new territory to me and I hated how it's affecting the way we treated each other.

"So we're just not gonna talk to each other anymore? You can't just ignore me forever" I broke the silence.

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh come on dad. We barely said two words to each other for the last couple of days that weren't so stiff. Even today, I couldn't feel anything coming out of you. I…" I didn't know what to say to him. I felt like I was trying to hard and he was just sitting there listening to me, though he knew everything I was feeling and thinking. Was he enjoying making me uncomfortable?

"Of course not, Renesmee. I just don't know what to say either"

"Well, maybe we can start from the beginning. I want to know what happened with Jacob"

"That's not something am willing to discuss, Renesmee and that's final" He said harshly.

"Why not? He's my best friend and you beat the crap out of him. I deserve an explanation"

"That is something that is between Jacob and I. Nobody else. I do not wish to converse about it anymore. End of discussion"

"Well, that's the whole thing. This thing with us started the morning I found out what happened. In order to clear this up I need something. He's too important to me for you to just treat him like that. You've been ignoring him too, I need to know. I lo-" I held my tongue at the last minute and my hands flew over my mouth, but it was already too late. My father knew. _I love him_.

He was looking at me with wide eyes "What?" His voice was so low that a human might not have heard him. He turned his head to look back at the road with that same shocked expression on his face.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I turned my body away from my father and just sat there for a long silent moment.

"Put your mind at ease father, it's nothing mutual. It's only me" I said quietly trying to compose myself "Jacob knows nothing and I do not plan to act on my emotions. And am sure they're just that, emotions that will pass soon"

I heard his clear his throat but still sat facing away from him.

"It didn't seem that way that other night" He said with an angry tone. I turned my head to look at him.

"Is this what this is all about? The kiss?" Everything just seemed to click "Is that why you beat him, because he kissed me?"

"He should have never forced himself like that" He was spitting venom now.

"God, father. It was one kiss that meant absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. It was a product of the moment, something that he regretted immensely right after. We were both emotional and he was just trying to prove a point. Nothing more and nothing less. And he apologized to me the next morning. He has nothing but the purest of intentions for me."

I felt so frustrated at my father and at myself.

"You don't know any of his intentions"

"I don't care. Not because you can read his mind that just doesn't give you any rights to make false assumptions" I was almost yelling.

"You better hold that tongue of yours Renesmee. I am your father and I would make any assumptions I want, I DO have the right. You're still my daughter, still living under my roof. Watch the way you talk to me" He spoke with such definitely and authority in his tone, it shut me up. I immediately felt bad about the way I acted. I have never raised my voice over my parents. Never.

I started crying silently; scolding myself for letting my emotions rule me like that. It was not like me. I didn't know what was wrong with me. _I am so sorry; I will never forgive myself for speaking to you like that. I don't know what's wrong with me._

I heard my father exhale loudly and then sigh "I am sorry too. I should have never spoken this way either to you Nessie" He sighed again "These past couple of days have not been good for me. And I apologies for lashing it out on you. I never meant for it to be this way. I love you so much, sweetheart" His voice was so soft and calming, so opposite to what it was like moments ago.

"Let's just pass tonight. Everything else can wait. Just forget it all honey. It's your time to shine" I looked up and father was smiling lightly.

_I love you daddy._


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

_Home_. The word kept revolving around in my head for hours to no end, once we set foot in Seattle. I was in the car with Jasper and Alice on our way to Forks. My Parents remained in New York with Emmett and Rosalie to complete the house packing.

"I know you miss it here Ness. But you really got to stop thinking about it. You're giving me a headache" Alice complained. Jasper chuckled lightly.

"Oh am sorry Alice." I said sarcastically "Since when don't you have your headache. And since when do _I _give you one? I thought you couldn't see me clearly" I said looking out the window.

"Well for some strange and unknown reason revolving around you, I am getting more visions around you now." Jasper reached out his hand and Alice met his half way over the hand rest. It was amazing to watch them both. Everything was privet, every moment more intimate for them.

"You really are all over the place Nessie" Jasper said looking at me using the review mirror "Settle down, we're almost there"

I turned away looking out the window and watching the scenery. It's like it was only yesterday since we've been here.

The music piece I played in the show was a complete success; I even got an offer to join Julliard. Annie and Richard also played and sang a beautiful song. It was so soft and gentle, even my dad liked it a lot. It was hard saying goodbye to Annie that night. I felt like she was going to die or something. This might as well have been true. Am probably never gonna see her again.

My hand went to the bracelet the Jacob gave me. Rubbing the pearl around with my thumb in slow circles, soothed me. It made me feel like Jacob is near me. Just the thought of him made me smile, close my eyes and bask in the memories of the last couple of days with him. The kiss, the hugs, the bracelet. My father seemed to have softened in the slightest way, if that is even what you can call it. We didn't talk about it after last time and frankly that was for the better.

I felt the car slowing down a bit and Jasper turning into our driveway. I almost squealed like a little girl and Alice and Jasper both laughed at my silliness. But I couldn't help it, we were finally here.

Once the car came to a stop, I had to physically restrain myself from jumping out the car and actually squealing like a kid. So I opened the door gently and got out. Grandma and Grandpa were waiting for us on the porch. Once Ma opened her arms for me, then I ran up the stairs and into them.

"It's good to have you here finally" She cooed.

"It's good to be home" I replied.

Once she let me go, I hugged grandpa and kissed his cheeks "Welcome home my little darling" He smiled gently.

"I took the liberty of setting up a room here for you. I think that it's best to leave the cottage for your parents to themselves when they come back for a while. Unless you want to go there. Plus that you've been gone for a long while honey, we'd like to keep you for ourselves for just a little while" Ma Esme explained.

"Oh no, I want to stay here in the big house" I reassured her.

"We closed up the whole third floor for you honey. You're dad's old room is now your own. And the room adjacent to it is a little welcome present from all of us. Emmett and Rosalie included of course"

"You guys didn't have to" I was touched by how much they really wanted me here.

Jasper and Alice had gotten inside already with the entire luggage and everything else.

"Of course, Alice stocked you up. You won't be needing any of your old clothes anymore" Esme continued to elaborate.

"Well, go on up. I can't wait to see how you'll react when you see your present" Alice pushed me towards the stairs.

"Okay okay, am going" I said laughing. I could hear everyone following us on the stairs.

Once we reached the third floor, Alice guided me to the door on the right. I knew this was the bedroom because it was dad's room. I gasped even before taking one step into the room once I opened the door. Esme had once again outdone herself. This room was amazing; it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Comforting colors and down to earth, modern furniture. It felt like an extension to the woods around me. The wall facing the door had the glass doors opening to outside and the one to the left were all glass. There was a simple queen bed to the wall on the left, with deep brown comforter and pillows, embedded into a huge bookcase and shelves. It was full of my dad's music collection and books. I was so glad Esme kept that part of the room, because it is absolutely my favorite part. There was always something new to discover in there.

Beside the glass doors, there were a couple of shelves that had some memorabilia from my old room in the cottage. To me this was something exactly like a trophy case that humans may have. Those bits and pieces represented my life, memories and things that are so dear to my heart. Pictures in different frames, presents I got over the years, some things Jacob carved for me.

_Jacob_. The thought rushed in with emotions. But I decided not to linger right now. At least not with Jasper in the same room.

To my right there was a small modern desk and chair and a flat screen television. There was a door that led to the bathroom and dressing room, but I decided I didn't want to see that now. I'll explore everything later.

"Ma this is perfect. I could stay here forever" I gasped it out and everybody laughed.

"Wait until you see the rest" Alice squealed "And I am not just talking about the dressing room and closet, because of course they are fabulous"

"There's more!" I couldn't believe how much my family prepared to have me here. I felt really loved and wanted.

"Come on, come on" Alice bounced behind me and covered my eyes with her small hands, giving me the gentled thrust forward to move and she started to guide me out of the room.

I could hear and smell Jasper in front of us and my grandparents behind. I was being led down the hall to an open area that was used for lounging. I heard a door click open, a light switch being turned on and the scents hit me. Fiber, copper wires, leather, wood. Alice removed her hands from over my eyes and I started to adjust to the light. When my vision cleared, that's when I saw it. A studio, a recording studio. The room we were standing in had a small leather couch against the wall and some heavy recording equipment, with a computer screen right in the middle. This was the latest, not even my previous school had this kind of technology.

There was a wide glass window separating us from the adjacent room. Jasper opened the door to the other room for me and I stepped in. The room was so big and open. It had light coming in from a whole wall being glass. It was big enough to have a piano in it. There were so many instruments in it, stools and microphones. Everything I would ever need to record any song or a piece I wanted. I never had this kind of access under my hands. This room can do wonders.

My heart was beating so fast. I was so scared of moving.

"Don't be scared" Jasper chuckled "You can touch anything, this is all for you"

I went back to the equipment room, till I was right in front of the equipment boards. I started touching all the buttons and memorizing. This equipment was sufficient to record for a whole orchestra.

"Both rooms are sound proofed, so that no sound would get into your recording. The idea of this room was a contribution from everyone. Esme and Rosalie designed this room to suit you. Japer took care of all the equipment and then he and Emmett wired everything up" Grandpa started explaining attentively "And of course I did the most important job of all" I turned around to face him. I was smiling like a crazy person "I supervised" They all laughed.

I moved to Jasper who was the nearest person to me and hugged him tight. I was so happy I didn't know what to do with myself. I passed on to Alice, then grandma then grandpa.

I looked at him and said "I love you grandpa" I turned to look at the rest of them "I love you all so much. This is too much. I don't really deserve this, I feel so overwhelmed" I said passionately.

"Oh honey" Esme hugged me again "If there was something else we could have done, we would have. There is nothing in this world that you are not worth" I was speechless.

"How about we leave you for a while to get freshen up and then come down stairs and get lunch" Esme suggested.

"That would be great" I smiled gently.

Everybody started moving out of the room quietly after giving me an extra hug.

"It's really great to have you back Nessie" Jasper told me right before he exited the room.

Yes, it really was. I moved out of the studio with promise to come back to try everything out. It still felt so unreal. I had my very own studio. Like, I could just go in there any time I want, for however long I want. It was incredible. I was sure I would feel so much better once I actually tried everything. Maybe it would feel more mine then.

I skipped to my room with a smile to my face and closed the door behind me. I went to the bathroom, which was so much bigger than any bathroom I had ever used, and freshened up. When I was in a fresh t-shirt and satisfied with my hair, I went downstairs following the aroma of food to the kitchen.

Esme was the only one in the room "Where is everybody?" I asked as I took a seat at the kitchen island.

"Carlisle left for work" She said as she was dropping the drained pasta into the sauce "And Alice and Jasper are in their room" She placed a delicious looking pasta Alfredo in front of me with a wide smile "I missed cooking for you so much honey"

"Didn't the wolves ever drop by or something?" I asked as I took the first bite.

"Seth would sometimes drop by after a long patrol" She filled a glass with coke and placed it beside the plate "But no one else. And it was not as frequent as I would have liked"

"Jacob never dropped by?" I asked.

"No" She replied simply "I'll go check on something honey. Eat up and then come find me and we can sit together. It is rare that I get to have you all to myself" She patted my cheek as I smiled cheekily at her and left the kitchen.

After a while of silent eating, I heard the front door open.

"Where is she? Where is Nessie" I could never have misplaced that sound anywhere in the world.

I jumped off the kitchen stool and ran towards the front room to see Seth and Embry standing there. Once Seth noticed me coming his way, he took a step forward and caught me in his arms, lifting me off the ground, hugging and spinning us around. I giggled as he set me down and kissed both my cheeks.

"It's so good to see you Seth. It's been a while" I said enthusiastically. The Clearwaters were not present the last Christmas I was here. They travelled to spend it with some distant family they had not seen in another tribe.

"Yes it has. You have not changed one bit" He smiled.

"Same to you. But I like the new haircut" I said as I moved from his arms to hug Embry.

"Welcome home Nessie" Embry said as he kissed my cheeks.

"Thanks. I missed you as well" I smiled at him. He gave me a cheeky smile in return.

"Are you guys hungry? What kind of question is that…Of course you are. Come on grandma just made this amazing pasta Alfredo" I said as I started walking to the kitchen with them following me.

"Actually we're here to tell you about tonight's bon fire" Seth said "In your honor".

"Wow, you guys shouldn't have" I blushed.

"Everybody misses you Nessie. Claire especially. So it'll be a good chance to see everyone" Embry explained.

The thought of seeing everybody did excite me, especially Jacob. I mean he had to be there. _Right?_

I nodded my head and the guys cheered.

"Well, it's gonna start at seven so be there. You want a ride?" Seth asked.

"No, am good, I'll drive myself if grandpa can't".

"Awesome. Can't wait to see you" Seth replied and engulfed me in a hug.

"Bye Ness" Embry waved as they both turned and left.

I sat in my room until almost five, thinking about if I should go tonight or not. I didn't know what I was gonna say to Jake if I saw him. We didn't really say goodbye or anything in New York. He just left right after the show. I was still a bit confused about a lot of things. Dad didn't really mention the talk we had in the car again, we never spoke of it. It's like he wanted to forget it. It doesn't really seem like my father approves. It made me wonder if my other family members would feel the same. If I wanted a relationship with Jacob, would they stand in the way?

There was a soft knock on the door and grandma Esme walked in.

"Hey honey" She came down and sat at the end of the bed.

"Hi" I pulled my knees to my chest.

"I heard that there is a bon fire tonight for you at first beach. Don't you want to get ready for it?"

"Grandma, when did you know you were in love with Pa?" I rested my chin on my knees and looked at her intently.

"Oh" She looked surprised by my question, but then smiled gently and turned her head to the side and seemed lost in her thoughts for a second "I feel in love with your Grandfather since the first moment I saw him. I was a teenager at the time, still human. But I never forgot him; I had him in my heart and never let him go. I never saw him again until the day I opened my eyes to my new life" Esme sighed "Being in love with your grandfather made the drawbacks to this life worth it. I mean I get to spend the rest of eternity with him, and that is something priceless"

She looked at me intently, as if knowing something I didn't. "With every beat of your heart you will love my darling and be loved in return just as much. Do not deny yourself out of fear or concern for anyone, even yourself. Let yourself feel what you long for and you will not regret it" She smiles widely and I can't help but smile back the same way.

"Would you like some help in choosing what to wear tonight" She asked and I nodded quickly.

After a quick visit to my new wardrobe and selecting a short brown print dress with straps like ropes, grandma combing my hair for me, pulling the sides to the back with a golden pin, I find myself driving towards the reservation in one of Rosalie's cars.

The sun was setting and the weather was surprisingly warm for this time of the year. I was so anxious that I would get to see Jacob tonight. But at the same time I was scared that he might not show up, scared of the conclusion that he might be avoiding me somehow. But I had to stay positive for myself. _I mean why wouldn't he want to see me?_

Once I parked the car, I could see a large banner with the words "Welcome Home Nessie" all over. It made me smile. I exited the car with the bags I got with all the presents I had for each family. The first one I saw was Sam's oldest Ezek, who had gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw him. He was almost as big as Sam now, if not taller.

He ran towards me when he saw me "Here let me help you" His voice was defiantly deeper and manly. He gave me a very charming smile and took all the bags from me "It's good to have you back Ness"

I shook my head to clear it, smiled back and nodded "Yeah, it's so good to be back. My God, Ezek, you have gotten so much bigger. What the hell happened to you?"

"Umm, I kinda phased" He said embarrassed.

"You what?" I exclaimed "That's great, you finally joined the pack" I smiled at him reassuringly "Your parents must be very proud"

"Yeah, I guess" He smiled back "Where do you want these?" He gestured towards the bags in his hands.

"Somewhere in the back I guess. Maybe behind the food tables or something" I showed him which table and he nodded and started to walk towards them. I could see Emily's back at those tables and I went towards her.

I looked around and saw Seth with David and Shaw trying to build a fire. I waved at Seth and he smiled and nodded and went back to work. Emily saw her son approaching with the bags and gave him a questioning look, so he nodded his head towards me, causing Emily to turn around and smile brightly.

"Hey" She said once I reached her and wrapped her around me in a hug "I am so happy to see you honey. And your finally here" We were both hugging and laughing. It really was a joy to be with everybody here.

"I'm very happy as well. I can't believe Ezek phased"

"I know, men either. It's so hard to get used to the idea. He's being growing the past year fast, everyone noticed. It only took a couple of visits from your family last week for him to explode" She explained.

"Oh. I'm sorry if my family has caused any trouble" I apologized.

"Nonsense" I looked over Emily's shoulder to see Sam walking towards us carrying a large cooler, with little Sybille beside him and behind him I could see Jacob pushing Billy's chair over.

My breath caught up in my throat at the sight of Jacob. I could feel my heart starting to pound and I could not help the wide smile that spread over my face. It was so hard averting my gaze from him but I had to because Sam was in front of me demanding attention. He gave me a small hug.

"It would have happened sooner or later anyways. A nomad passing through would have gotten Ezek to phase. So don't worry about it" He patted my forearm gently "Well time to make the food. Ezek" He gave a small whistle and his son followed suit.

I felt a small tug, looking down to find Sybille waving shyly at me. I bent down and gave her a hug as well.

"Hey sweetie. Look at you so grown up" She smiled and went to hide behind her mum.

Standing back up, Billy and Jacob had reached us and Billy was petting Sybille's head.

"How about a hug for me?" Billy looked up at me, smiling and opening his arms for me. I bent down to reach him and wrapped my arms around him. I felt him hugging me. I had really missed Billy. When I was younger, I used to love visiting Jake at home because I knew Billy was always there to spoil me rotten and tell me amazing stories. And I felt really glad to be home, to be able to see him whenever I wanted again.

"It's good to have you back, daughter" He smiled when he let go of me. Ever since I had become of age, he started calling me daughter. It wasn't bad, but it just felt weird when he saw me as Jacob's sister, when I was really in love with his son.

"It's good to be back. Are you going to tell us a story tonight?" I asked hopeful and excited to hear something.

"Anything for a beloved daughter" I chucked without humor, feeling really awkward about that whole daughter thing.

"NESSIE!" I heard Claire scream my name and turned around to see her running towards me with Quil walking behind laughing and shaking his head.

When she reached me, she jumped at me, wrapping her arms around me so tight. But it didn't matter, because I held her just as tight.

"Oh my God, oh my God! You're finally here! I can't freaking believe it" She screamed in my ears and started laughing with me joining in with her. I pulled back to look at her face. She looked different, more grown up of course. But there was something else I could not place yet, a certain glow maybe.

Quil came back behind her and she pulled back for him to pull me in a friendly embrace.

"It's awesome your finally back, now Claire can stop biting my ear off about you" We all laughed while Claire fake-punched Quill's forearm.

By now the fire Seth was setting up for started and it had almost gotten dark completely. The beach was starting to fill up with pack members, who greeted me warmly. I was sitting with Claire on some drift wood in front of the fire, talking about her birthday when Paul and Rachel arrived with their girls. It still struck me how utterly beautiful Sophie and Lucy were. They were really gorgeous with their shiny black hair, russet skin and wide dark brown eyes.

I was in the middle of greeting with Rachel when I heard Paul beside her "No, no. Absolutely not!" I turned and followed his line of sight to see Ezek, who was standing by the grill with his dad, looking at Sophie, who was talking with Claire by the fire, with wide eyes and mouth dropped open, like it was the first time he had set his eyes on her. He was looking at her as if she was the only person on the beach.

Paul started to make his way over to Ezek, when out of nowhere Jacob appeared next to him and held onto his shoulder, stopping him.

"Not now Paul" He told him quietly.

"If he comes near my daughter, I will personally castrate him" Paul threatened.

"Don't be so dramatic Paul" Rachel teased, obviously now aware of the situation "You know what this means. There is nothing you can really do about it"

I could not understand what Rachel meant. Of course, Paul can always say no to Ezek and Sophie dating.

"Am I missing something here?" I asked when Rachel turned back to me.

"Don't worry about it. Paul is just being his overprotective self. It's cute but sometimes he's being a drama queen" She joked. That was not really the answer I was hoping for. Actually she didn't answer my question at all.

Before I could ask her again, she pulled Paul and started making her way towards the fire. I started feeling warm all over and it was not because of the fire or the weather, but it was because I could feel _him_ right beside me. I could feel my heart starting to swell. So I took a deep breath in and decided I was not going to mess it up. I am playing cool.

"I got you something from New York" I said "I mean it's not something you can specifically just find in New York, but I guess it's something you'll like"

I turned and saw him looking at me intently with this wistful smile on his face.

"I'll love whatever you give me Nessie" Jacob replied.

"How come you never said goodbye? You just left…"

"I knew I would see you soon. I knew there was no need for goodbyes"

"Well maybe I just needed to see you" I said quickly, almost angrily. I sighed "Maybe I just needed a hug from you Jake. We would not have said goodbye"

He moved to stand facing me "Well, I can give you a hug right…" I didn't give him a chance to even finish. I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him to me and burying my nose in his neck. _So much for playing it cool_.

But what made my heart sore was that he wrapped my arms around my waist, hosting me up from the ground and holding me so tightly to his body. It had been such a long time since Jacob held me this way. It felt like I was in heaven. It truly felt like everything would be just fine. Everything was alright; Jacob was finally holding me to him.

I pulled back to look at him, moving just one arm from around his neck to rest my hand on his cheek. He was looking at me with such an intense gaze.

_I missed you so much Jacob. It's been so long since you've held me like this and I missed you. How come you've changed?_

"I didn't change Nessie. But other things did, things that I couldn't control" He tone was pleading with me again to understand. But I still could not.

_Like what?_

He sighed and looked away for a few seconds before looking me in the eye again "Like you growing up".

I pushed on his shoulders indicating that I wanted him to put me down and he did just that. Once I was back on my feet, I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Jacob, I haven't _grown_ since I was eight years old. And this…" I indicated between us "Has only been going on for a little while"

And then it hit me. What I was been thinking about a few days ago. The fact that Jacob will someday want somebody to love and have a life with. A person can't really control who they love. I just did not think it would have been that soon. I thought I had just a little more time with him before he moved on with his life. It crushed me from the inside out, but I still needed to hear it. Had he already found her?

"Is…is there someone…" I could feel myself chocking on the words "I mean…I just think that…it…it's kinda alright if she's jealous…but I mean I'm your best friend and she shouldn't worry…" I trailed off and chanced a glance at his face.

Jacob had the most confused expression on his face "What…?" He asked dazzled.

"It's completely understandable. If I was with someone, I wouldn't really want him to be friends with another woman…girl" I tried to explain my point of view, but Jacob still looked at me like I was from another planet.

"Who are you talking about?" He asked slowly.

"The woman you're in love with…" I answered him softly.

"But I'm not in love with another woman…"

"Oh my God! You love a dude!" I whisper-shouted wide eyed, putting my hands over my mouth.

I could feel the silence in the air. I looked behind Jacob's shoulder and everybody was silent and I got the feeling they were all listening in on our conversation. When I looked back at Jacob, he had very wide eyes and an open mouth.

"What…" He seemed to have gotten what I was talking about "NO…no Nessie, God no! I am not it love with ANYBODY else" He said it loud and clear, as if for everybody else, not just me, to hear. He scratched the back of his neck "Let's take a walk" And he started pulling me to a more secluded area of the beach.

When we were at a safe distance from the others, Jacob let go of me and we started walking in a slow pace along the beach. Jacob stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

I started replying everything he had just said. He wasn't in love with anybody _else_? Else than who? I became wishful. Could it be?

"Things have changed for me Renesmee" He was looking at his feet.

"Things? Changed?" I felt that my heart was _literally_ going to explode when he stopped abruptly and came to face me.

"My life turned upside down the day you were born. I felt like I had a reason to be living. All I ever wanted was to be there for you. But now…" He paused and took a deep breath "Now all I want is to be with you" He closed the distance between us to stand as close as he could without actually touching me.

I didn't know what to say, my emotions were all over the place and I was chocking on my breaths. I could feel my heart beating and the rush of blood to my cheeks.

"You're so beautiful" Jacob said as he cupped my cheeks, looking intently in my eyes "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen" He kissed my forehead gently.

"Hardly Jacob. Rosalie is beautiful" I said breaking eye contact "I'm just…"

When I heard him sigh I looked back up at him, he was smiling down at me.

"You have the most amazing laugh and a breath taking smile. I love the way you move your hands when you talk. Or how you look at someone's face or anticipate their reaction when you do something for them instead of caring about what you will get in return. I love how your hair brings out the color of your brown eyes and how when you're playing or singing you get so lost, that it's like looking at your soul"

"Jacob…what…how long?" I had to know.

"I think for a long while, but it just hit me hard during last year's Christmas party. It had never ever been hard to let you go"

"Why haven't you said anything before?"

"Because I wanted you to want me. I didn't want to confuse you or force you into anything. But this last month had been hell for me. Feeling and knowing how much you were hurting, it was killing me. I just couldn't stay away from you"

I was feeling so peaceful like I have never before. It felt like the final puzzle piece was in its right place. I felt warm all over my insides. But most importantly I felt this love for Jacob that was coursing though my veins and pouring out of me. It was like I was alive just to be with him, to love him.

"For the last couple of months I have been feeling so lost and confused and it showed mostly the time we were apart with no communication. I felt dead on the inside…" I was crying openly.

"Oh God Ness. I am so sorry baby" He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in a tight warm hug "I should have never thought it was for the best. I was so stupid"

"Yes you were" He chuckled and I giggled. He pulled back to look in my eyes without letting me go.

It felt amazing hearing him telling me all of this. And I understood what he was trying to get me. But he needed to say it, out loud. I needed to actually hear him say the words so that I can actually believe that I was not dreaming.

"Jacob, I need you to do something for me" I pleaded.

"Anything baby, anything at all is yours" He assured me sincerely.

"Tell me…tell me how you feel about me. I want you to say it"

He moved his hands from around my waist, up my hands until he was cupping my face lightly in his hands.

"I…I love you Renesmee. And not like a brother loves his sister or how friends care for each other. I love you like a man should love a women. I love you like your father loves your mother. I love you like I would die without you" He took a deep breath "I love you. I love you so much"

I reached out and grabbed his head and pulled him towards me until our lips were so close together.

"I love you back, my Jacob" And then I closed the almost not existing space between us so that our lips were pressed together.

He kissed me so tenderly, so sweetly. He moved his on hand into my hair and the other down my back and around me, pulling me flush against him. I moved my hands into his hair and tugged, pulling him to me as well. It was like we could not get close enough.

His lips were so soft against mine, very gently and never forceful. The feelings running though me were like nothing I have ever experienced before during my entire existence.

I never wanted it to end, but the burning feeling in my lungs reminded me that I needed to breath. I pulled back slowly, took and quick breath and went back for a couple loving pecks. I was smiling like a fool and I could see a grin forming out on his face. He was breathing deeply as well.

"I feel like I have finally returned home. Being in your arms is my home" I confessed.

"Then, welcome home Nessie"

* * *

**Author's Note: ****OMG OMG OMG OMG! I CAN NOT ACTUALLY ****BELIEVE** I AM FINALLY UPDATING. IT HAS BEEN SO LONG AND IT IS MY ENTIRE FAULT. I AM SO FREAKING SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN ME AGES. AND NO AMOUNT OF EXCUSES WILL EVER BE ENOUGH.

**All I really need to say is that i am so happy to have finally done it. This is the end of this part of my story. i wanted to thank everyone who had ever read or reviewed or personal messaged me about this story. THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH. And i would like to give a very special thanks and apology for _featherfairy_, who had been an amazing supporter and ****encouraging** me to go on with this story. You really have been a personal encourager for me to actually get it done. A very warm thank you to _Robmau_ for the beautiful review.

**Now on to some serious business. This part of my story is finished. So I want there to be a sequel for this story to complete the whole thing. Now this sequel will ****definitely** be rated R for adult themes and violence, but nothing graphic or lemons. So I kinda want your **opinions** on this. Would you like me to start another completely different story, or complete on this one here and change it's rating to R?

**I'm gonna mark it as complete for now, until you all give me your input.**

**I really do hope that you enjoy this chapter and that you have really liked the story as a whole. And I will promise to try super harder to get everything done sooner and not have such drastic periods of times between updates.**

**I love you all,  
Sandy**

**P.S: You all really need to go check out Nessie's outfit's picture on my profile :D CHEERS!**


	13. Note

**Author's Note:**

**Hey everybody, I just wanted to let you know that I have posted this story's sequel and would love, love, love if you could check it out. It's called ****_Illusions_**

**I wanted to thank all of my readers and the story fans who have been so patient with me and didn't lose the hope of the sequel coming out. Thank you so much. You're reviews helped me believe in myself and my story and they will continue to push me in the next one.**

**I hope the new story is up to standard and meets your expectations.**

**Thank you so much.**

**Sandy**


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